He thought he saw an Elephant,
   That practised on a fife:
 He looked again, and found it was
   A letter from his wife.
 "At length I realize," he said,
   "The bitterness of Life!"

He thought he saw a Buffalo
   Upon the chimney-piece:
 He looked again, and found it was
   His Sister's Husband's Niece,
 "Unless you leave this house," he said,
    "I'll send for the Police!" 

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
   That questioned him in Greek:
 He looked again, and found it was
   The Middle of Next Week.
 "The one thing I regret," he said,
   "Is that it cannot speak!" 

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
   Descending from the 'bus:
 He looked again, and found it was
   A Hippopotamus.
 "If this should stay to dine," he said,
   "There won't be much for us!"

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
   That worked a coffee-mill:
 He looked again, and found it was
   A Vegetable-Pill.
 "Were I to swallow this," he said,
   "I should be very ill!"

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
   That stood beside his bed:
 He looked again, and found it was
   A Bear without a Head.
 "Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
   It's waiting to be fed!"

He thought he saw an Albatross
   That fluttered round the lamp:
 He looked again, and found it was
   A Penny-Postage-Stamp.
 "You'd best be getting home," he said,
   "The nights are very damp!"

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
   That opened with a key:
 He looked again, and found it was
   A Double Rule of Three:
 "And all its mystery," he said,
   "Is clear as day to me!"

He thought he saw an Argument
   That proved he was the Pope:
 He looked again, and found it was
   A Bar of Mottled Soap.
 "A fact so dread," he faintly said,
   "Extinguishes all hope!"