
a family lies
on cardboard mattresses
to keep bone from stone.
a family lies
on cardboard mattresses
to keep bone from stone.
Scarecrow, n. - that which exists solely to evoke fear. There are so many scarecrows: global - the end of the world as we know it. societal - the end of the tribe as we know it. individual - scarecrows of the soul. Scarecrows lead us into the worst versions of ourselves: The one who's stressed, and mean because of it. The one who imagines conspiracy around every corner. The one who sees threat in every change & in every difference. The one who wants an orderly world of people just like themselves - familiar, cozy, and lacking surprises. Scarecrows even march us off to war, and war should be the scariest state imaginable -- death doled out on a random basis. War should be the scariest, but terrible certainties spur less fear than any old uncertainty.
Describe something you learned in high school.
A Psych teacher told us a story of what he called “a gestalt of expectations.” A man from a city in the East is driving out West, and he passes a gas station – despite being low on fuel. (He’s used to gas stations being everywhere.) Anyhow, he runs out of fuel. He can’t see anything around except desolate desert bisected by a line of asphalt. He decides to walk back to the gas station he passed ten miles back. There is no one traveling on this remote stretch of desert road. As he’s walking in the intense heat, it comes to his mind that the employee at the service station is really going to gouge him on the price of gas and a jerry can. As he walks and walks, skin prickling with the heat, he keeps thinking about how he’s going to get screwed by the gas station attendant and also how he’ll be chided and ridiculed for running out of gas in the middle of the desert. He imagines it in great detail. Finally, bedraggled and with heaving breaths, he arrives at the station. The gas station attendant rushes out to help this poor man, and the man punches the attendant square in the nose (for all the offenses taking place solely in the man’s mind.)
In a broader formulation, I think this is the most important lesson any human can learn. Our personal perception of what we experience is not equal to what it is that we experience (the exterior world.) This is why some people dealt a crappy hand can turn it into a wonderful life, and also why some people who seem to have it all commit suicide in the prime of life.
I could be angered or dismayed that the single most important lesson I learned in secondary school was via off-curriculum ramblings during an elective class, but I choose not to. Instead, I’ve been trying all my life to make that bit of knowledge into wisdom.
Each of us lives a life improbable, the gift of an ancestor who struggled through some terror which killed others. We each have an iron impulse to maintain a cracking grip on life, but some won't ever be pried away, growing like the stunted pine that juts from the mountainside: gnarled but indestructible. Live improbably with your life improbable.
Don't fill your vaults with glowing, shiny stones. It's invitation to all cheats and thieves. Don't know by mind what you don't know by bone. Make sure you've lost before you up and grieve. Then when you grieve, take time to fully feel. Don't let your mind write stories so untrue that they turn melancholy like a wheel that gathers and grows with each turn anew. Be kind and true, but not so kind and true so as to kill with gifts or a mean tongue. Don't do what would be best that you not do, and only sing of those heroes unsung. Oh, every piece of wisdom has its day, so don't hitch so tight that you're led astray.
In rustic cabins far away from here there live some happy people of the woods. With ruddy cheeks, they're exemplars of cheer. They never visit cities selling goods. They live on what the forest can render, and that's not so much, but it is enough. They tune themselves to nature's vast splendor. In cold, they don skins, but when hot, go buff. Or, perhaps, I lie, and no such people exist in this world or any other. And woods people fuss on matters, fecal -- just like you, I, and all our grandmothers. These cheery, simple woods folk must exist, if only in the mind of this fantasist.