A girl got herself an intrepid beau, but she'd long owned a vibrating dildo. "That thing has three speeds to exceed her base needs I'll need four, none too quick nor too slow."
Four on the Floor [Limerick]
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Tag Archives: humor
Mocking Monkey [Common Meter]
One day I passed a gray monkey, and something made me turn. I caught the primate in the act of issuing a burn. Its eyes were closed; its tongue stuck out. Its head twisted to tease. And when it saw me seeing it, for a sec, it did freeze. As if not a thing had happened, and it was not to blame. Before I could make my rebuke it multiplied my shame. by blowing me a raspberry followed by a big smirk. Then it scrambled away before I went truly berserk.
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A Sign from Above [Limerick]
There was a resplendent Portuguese church with plenty of places for pigeons to perch, Parishioners went to mass, moving quite fast, to keep clothes -- not repute -- un-besmirched.
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Zoo Overkill [Limerick]
There was a Zoo where the creatures were plastic. Said the new guy, "I don't mean to be drastic, but since our beasts aren't real, let's lose the cages of steel, we'll have the first petting zoo lion -- it'll be fantastic!"
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Mind in the Cloud [Limerick]
There was a man who moved into the Cloud, being the first machine-mind, he was quite proud. Until someone tripped, and his switch was flipped. "Tape that cord down, for cryin' out loud!"
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Customer Service Limerick
There once was a customer service rep
who spoke with a smile and great pep.
“That’s not my department,
but prepare for bombardment:
Your refund in twenty-six random steps.”
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Columbus Limerick
Praising Columbus is now impolitic. Truth is, he's considered a bit of a dick. But you've got to respect one who -- wholly unchecked -- can rename people & places, and it sticks.
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BOOK REVIEW: There Once Was A Limerick Anthology Ed. by Michael Croland
There Once Was a Limerick Anthology: Lewis Carroll, Robert Frost, Edward Lear, Mark Twain, Carolyn Wells, Woodrow Wilson and Others by Michael CrolandMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Amazon.in Page
Release Date: August 17, 2022
This little book gathers a diverse collection of about 350 limericks. [Limericks are a five-line poetic form with an aabba rhyme scheme and short -b lines, and are often humorous – or, at least, punny, quirky, or absurd. The form often uses forced rhymes or contorted language as part of the humor, leaning into the genre’s lowbrow image.] For those who’ve read Edward Lear and may be concerned that these limericks will, like much of Lear’s work, lack punch and humor to the modern ear, that’s not the case. The selected limericks include many clever and witty examples that land as well today as ever. [Lest it sound like I’m dissing Lear, I agree with Langford Reed’s limerick included in this edition – i.e. “We should never forget // That we owe him a debt”]
The limericks are grouped by a classification scheme. The book starts with the most common categories — those that feature locations or proper names in the lead line. It has a few chapters that play with language, twisting it about through misspellings or plays on abbreviations. There’s a chapter that is all tongue twisters. Two of the more popular chapters are toward the end. One is a collection of limericks written by famous writers and personalities, such as: Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll, and Robert Frost. The other features ribald limericks. For many, ribald and risqué is what comes to mind when one thinks of limericks – e.g. “There once was a young man from Nantucket.” This book aims for a general audience, and – therefore – avoids the edgiest of material, but it’s good that they realized they couldn’t dodge bawdy and raunchy material altogether, and still claim to be an overview of the form.
I enjoyed reading this collection tremendously. With so much public domain content, I thought there might be a lot of limericks that wouldn’t land, but – on the contrary – most were clever and fun. If you’re a fan of the form, this book is definitely worth reading. And it’s part of the Dover Thrift Edition collection, so no doubt you can pick it up for a song.
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Limerick of the Kenyan Burglar
There was a chill burglar from Kenya who, as he worked, listened to Enya. It lulled him to sleep, a sleep far too deep. He woke up where burglars, they send ya.
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Heard is the Word [Clerihew]
The actress Amber Heard claimed to have been beaten & slurred. The case hinged on profound factors, like the likableness of actors.
the !n(tro)verted yogi 