BOOK: “A Thousand and One Limericks” Anthologized by Rosemary Gray

A Thousand and One LimericksA Thousand and One Limericks by rosemary-gray
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

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As the title suggests, this book consists of a thousand and one limericks (I didn’t count them, but at three a page, the math works -ish,) a few are well-known, most are groaners, but some are brilliant by virtue of being clever on multiple levels. I will offer two warnings by way of clarifying for whom this book is not. First, it ventures into all those corners of depravity with which the limerick is well-associated — i.e. it’s not a collection for prudes. Second, the collection shows the limerick’s unabashed joy in poking fun at the English language. There are many “misspellings” as poems use one spelling regime for all rhymes (i.e. highlighting English’s complete lack of phonetic consistency.) There are also a lot of slant rhymes and false rhymes… long story short, if you’re a grammar / spelling Nazi, this book will raise all the hackles.

Who is it for? Readers with a sense of humor who are not easily offended.

I have seen a few of these poems attributed to specific authors (e.g. Edward Lear or Ogden Nash) in other collections, but — oddly — this book offers no attribution or discussion thereof. The byline listed, Rosemary Gray, is actually in an anthologist / editor role. (She may have written some of the pieces, but I’m fairly sure I’ve seen a few published in earlier anthologies. Maybe these are all in the public domain, but — as I’ve said — I’ve seen some attributed (and I’m pretty sure some to individuals who died less than 70 years ago.) Long story short, if you can’t find a copy of this, it may be because there was a huge copyright infringement case or threat thereof.

I’d recommend this collection for limerick lovers.

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Mayan High Priest Limerick

Photograph of El Castillo at the Mayan site of Chichen Itza, Mexico.
A newly promoted Mayan High Priest --
queasy, but charged with bloodletting next feast.
Suggested a new style:
Lymph, sweat, milk, tears, or bile
Were offerings that made his odds of fainting decrease.

Iguana Limerick

Photograph of an Iguana on the rocks overlooking Tulum Beach.
In Tulum, a lazy old Iguana
was asked to leave but said, "I don't wanna!"
They threated and chided -
reasoned and derided -
'til it left, bribed with good marijuana.

Ger Limerick

Photograph of a yurt taken in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.
There once was a nomadic ger-dweller
who had no garage, attic, or cellar.
But what it lacked in space
it made up for in pace
when ger turned to baggage from shelter.

Builder Limerick

Photograph of the inverted pyramid Radio Building in Bratislava, Slovakia.
A skilled Slovakian builder
got his plans and was bewildered.
They were upside down.
Had they been turned around
an Aide wouldn't 've fell from the basement, which killed her.

Animal Taxi Limerick

Photograph of an elephant on a truck taken in Sri Lanka at the Pinnawala Elephant Orphanage.
There once was an animal tow truck
that would taxi your horse or your duck.
Size wasn't deemed relevant
'til up showed an elephant,
and the overladen truck got stuck.

Buckingham Palace Limerick

Photograph of the changing of the guard
A randy guard of Buckingham Palace
stood at attention, but so, too, his phallus.
He did his very best -
stock still like all the rest,
but was exposed by tent and hand callus.

Radio Fan Limerick

A radio fan from Vienna
got no reception with his antenna --
except when wired
to the church spire.
Piety left him on the horns of dilemma.

Windsurfer Limerick

Photograph of windsurfers near San Pedro, Belize.
Some hardcore fanatic windsurfers
found sunny days couldn't match their fervor.
They got it on the brain
to ride a hurricane,
and rode the wind from Jamaica to Port Arthur.

Safari Guide Limerick

Photograph of a female lion taken in Chobe National Park in Botswana.
There was a cocky safari guide
who - of lions - was often quite snide.
He frequently stated
they were overrated,
but his view was different from inside.