Panglossian Limerick

From an 1803 edition of Candide
There was a philosopher named Pangloss
whose sole objective was to get across:
Ours is the best of worlds!
And yet, the crapper swirled
and nothing escaped but dregs and dross.

Patience: Casualty of Modernity [Limerick]

There was an old man, some called "ancient,"
who got riled everyone was so impatient.
"The world was much better
when we talked by letter,
and you only got instant replies if adjacent."

Macbeth Limerick

Macbeth and Banquo Meeting the Witches;
Théodore Chasséria (1855)
There was a great General named Macbeth.
All that kept him from kingship was a death,
but - as with a Pringle -
he couldn't do a single.
So, he showed seven more their last breaths.

Hamlet Limerick

Hamlet Stands Over Polonius;
Eugène Delacroix (1855)
There once was a wavering Prince of Denmark
whose uncle replace his dad as monarch.
The ghost of his dad
said, "Kill 'em, my lad!"
Too bad he took that stab in the dark.

Helen of Troy [Limerick]

Abduction of Helen; (mid-18th cent. Venice)
There was pretty lady named Helen
whose beauty had all the boys yellin'.
No arrows from Cupid;
her glance made 'em stupid.
But did her face split a thousand melons?

Anti-Social Media [Limerick]

Fuseli’s “The Nightmare” (1781)
There once was an evil internet troll
who spouted like the proverbial blowhole.
He snarked to the void
like a flaming hemorrhoid,
but remained an anonymous A-hole.