There once was a forensic psychologist
Who came across as quite the apologist:
"The arsonist, you see,
Simply yearns to be free --
Hence, burning all the walls - if you get my gist."
Forensic Psychologist’s Limerick
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There once was a forensic psychologist
Who came across as quite the apologist:
"The arsonist, you see,
Simply yearns to be free --
Hence, burning all the walls - if you get my gist."
There once was a profiteering banker
Who inspired only feelings of rancor.
When making rates for loans,
He stressed all the unknowns.
"Your yoghurt shop might be hit by an oil tanker!"
There once was a primadonna singer
Who on a note could forever linger.
Thinking her a showboat
For dragging out one note,
The band took five mid-melisma to share chicken fingers.
There once was a virtuous, old monk
Who never, ever had sex or got drunk.
He lived in silence,
And practiced non-violence...
Till one day, in a funk, he kicked a young monk
In the junk.
There once was a popular actress
Who most found cruel, catty, and tactless,
But the very worst part
Was the state of her art,
She only played herself in a different dress.
There once was a preacher with Tourette's
And his case was as bad as it gets.
In times of aplomb,
He'd shout an f-bomb,
Making mourners more than a little upset.
There once was a low-budget fortuneteller --
So rock-bottom she worked out of a cellar.
"Life'll be good; life'll be bad!
Someday, you'll lose mom, or dad."
Even playing the odds, her record wasn't stellar.
There once was an artist, Bohemian,
Who thought himself quite the comedian.
Peers thought he lacked heart,
& didn't suffer for his art,
But they suffered the farts of that Bohemian comedian.
There once was a renowned psychoanalyst
Who found childhood events were always the catalyst.
A patient who lived happily
'Til a recent tragedy,
Learned it all stemmed from thoughts as a neonatalist.
There once was a master of the satiric
Who was known for being quite satyric.
What a difference "y" makes:
Handshakes to heartaches.
He was cancelled as his words won panegyrics.