There was a Bible-thumping lady from Charleston
who, in her views, was no less than puritan.
She tried to ban books
she hadn't given a look
because, like "Moby Dick," the titles were smut-ridden.
There was a bike-rick driver in Huế
always honked at for being in the way.
He took loads fit for a truck,
drove 'em crosstown for a buck,
and got their faster by using the expressway.
There was a shrewd carpenter from Zambia
dismayed to hear what was paid to IKEA.
He took apart his shelves,
said, "Make 'em yourselves!"
upped his rates, but threw in a hex key-a.
There was a rich businessman from Japan
who'd always wanted to be his country's Batman.
But his civil city
was not Gotham-gritty,
and the cape made him look like a madman.
There was a royal baker in Germany
whose bread the king despised fervently.
The king issued a decree:
Death, or bread passing light times three!
The baker twisted dough so three holes showed,
and bestowed it earnestly.
A longshoreman at the Port of Savannah
had to unload ships full of bananas.
They'd trip rad detectors,
and in came inspectors
to prevent a critical mass of banana.
A contrarian tourist traveling through Livingstone
missed Victoria Falls when all was said & done.
He'd thought it a trifle
to see tower Eiffel,
and, when in Paris, he made an end-run.
There was an executive from Noda,
a member of the class, high bourgeois.
He was the big boss
over all the soy sauce,
but when he told people, they heard, "Blah, blah, blah!"
There was a clumsy tourist in Cebu
who broke Magellan's Cross, and sought wood glue.
"Oh, don't worry, son!
That's not the first one.
The original was lost... and was already broken, too."