There was a chill burglar from Kenya
who, as he worked, listened to Enya.
It lulled him to sleep,
a sleep far too deep.
He woke up where burglars, they send ya.
There was a man from the Milky Way
who never knew quite what to say,
when asked, "Where ya from?"
he pointed with thumbs
up, down, right, left, and every which way
There was a gambler from the Andes
who was fond of upping the antes,
but he got in deep debt
and started to bet:
"beachfront property here in the Andes!"
There was an old lady from Kanyakumari
who one day tripped on the hem of her sari.
She fell into the sea,
but said, "Please leave me be.
I've long wished to know the world beyond Kanyakumari."
There was a durian seller from K.L.
asked to leave the market 'cause of the smell.
"Buyers 'll find you with ease
from the scent of bad cheese,"
said the contrite landlord in his farewell.
There was an outlandish student of Cambridge
who only had space for the tiniest fridge.
It all had to go -
milk and meat in the snow.
Turns out he liked his gin chilled just a smidge.
There was a diligent soldier from Bishkek
whose boots never saw as much as a speck,
but marching to the flagpole
he showed scuffs on the sole,
and the Sergeant said, "Your uniform 's a wreck!"
There was an angry, old man from Atlanta
who each winter was tapped to play Santa.
In the suit he would bake,
scratching a beard that was fake,
as he fought Varsity dogs with piles of Mylanta.
A crafty langur of Bhubaneswar
lived in the trees above the old bazaar.
He'd watch shoppers straggle
and shopkeepers haggle,
then slip in under everyone's radar.
There was a tourist in Darjeeling
whose fingers and toes lost all feeling.
He didn’t remember
it’s cold in December,
and the dearth of heaters left him reeling.