The best advice I ever got was, “Don’t give unsolicited advice!” It surprised me a little because I wasn’t even talking to the guy. A stranger just came up to me out of the blue and shouted it in my face… but it is wise advice.
PROMPT: Advice
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Category Archives: humor
BOOK: “What If? 2” by Randall Monroe
What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions by Randall MunroeMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Author site
The Venn Diagram intersect of “hilarious” and “educational” tends to be sparsely occupied territory, but it’s where Randall Monroe lives. This sequel continues the approach set in the original volume, take a completely absurd question that can be answered with science and do just that with frequent interjections of sarcasm. Some examples of the questions addressed are: How many pigeons would it take to fly a person to the top of a skyscraper? Can all the world’s bananas fit in all the world’s churches? How much real dinosaur is in a plastic toy dinosaur? How many people worth of dead skin cells does a person consume and inhale over a lifetime?
The book uses many stick figure cartoons and other line drawings to both clarify the material and for the sake of humor. While it might seem like these questions could be answered hastily (as a dad might by saying, “You’re an idiot. Go away!”) most take several pages of elaboration because Monroe considers the many complexities of the question and of finding a scientific answer. There are sections throughout called “Short Answers” which include many a question so ridiculous or intuitive that being dismissive seems like the right approach.
If you’re interested in science but still find it goes down better with chortles and chuckles, I’d highly recommend this book.
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PROMPT: Best Excuse
“I was tossed by a bison.”
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Poison Ivy [Lyric Poem]
Poison Ivy, I think you know
that you will always be my foe.
I can slice your vine, pal-o-mine,
and still end slathered in calamine.
Because I must haul your corpse away,
and on my gloves your oils will stay —
waiting that unexpecting day
when I scratch some tender bit.
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PROMPT: Grown
Horizontally.
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PROMPT: Healthy Boundaries
Daily writing prompt
Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.
1.) Close the bathroom door when you poop. (Especially when your spouse is having company over… or is on a Zoom call.)
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BOOK: “A Thousand and One Limericks” Anthologized by Rosemary Gray
A Thousand and One Limericks by rosemary-grayMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Publisher Site
As the title suggests, this book consists of a thousand and one limericks (I didn’t count them, but at three a page, the math works -ish,) a few are well-known, most are groaners, but some are brilliant by virtue of being clever on multiple levels. I will offer two warnings by way of clarifying for whom this book is not. First, it ventures into all those corners of depravity with which the limerick is well-associated — i.e. it’s not a collection for prudes. Second, the collection shows the limerick’s unabashed joy in poking fun at the English language. There are many “misspellings” as poems use one spelling regime for all rhymes (i.e. highlighting English’s complete lack of phonetic consistency.) There are also a lot of slant rhymes and false rhymes… long story short, if you’re a grammar / spelling Nazi, this book will raise all the hackles.
Who is it for? Readers with a sense of humor who are not easily offended.
I have seen a few of these poems attributed to specific authors (e.g. Edward Lear or Ogden Nash) in other collections, but — oddly — this book offers no attribution or discussion thereof. The byline listed, Rosemary Gray, is actually in an anthologist / editor role. (She may have written some of the pieces, but I’m fairly sure I’ve seen a few published in earlier anthologies. Maybe these are all in the public domain, but — as I’ve said — I’ve seen some attributed (and I’m pretty sure some to individuals who died less than 70 years ago.) Long story short, if you can’t find a copy of this, it may be because there was a huge copyright infringement case or threat thereof.
I’d recommend this collection for limerick lovers.
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PROMPT: Soulmates
I know I found someone who can tolerate me for prolonged periods. There can’t be more than four such people in the universe. So, do what you will with that.
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Mayan High Priest Limerick
A newly promoted Mayan High Priest --
queasy, but charged with bloodletting next feast.
Suggested a new style:
Lymph, sweat, milk, tears, or bile
Were offerings that made his odds of fainting decrease.
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Iguana Limerick
In Tulum, a lazy old Iguana
was asked to leave but said, "I don't wanna!"
They threated and chided -
reasoned and derided -
'til it left, bribed with good marijuana.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 