There once was an animal tow truck
that would taxi your horse or your duck.
Size wasn't deemed relevant
'til up showed an elephant,
and the overladen truck got stuck.
Animal Taxi Limerick
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Category Archives: humor
Buckingham Palace Limerick
A randy guard of Buckingham Palace
stood at attention, but so, too, his phallus.
He did his very best -
stock still like all the rest,
but was exposed by tent and hand callus.
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Radio Fan Limerick
A radio fan from Vienna
got no reception with his antenna --
except when wired
to the church spire.
Piety left him on the horns of dilemma.
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Windsurfer Limerick
Some hardcore fanatic windsurfers
found sunny days couldn't match their fervor.
They got it on the brain
to ride a hurricane,
and rode the wind from Jamaica to Port Arthur.
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Safari Guide Limerick
There was a cocky safari guide
who - of lions - was often quite snide.
He frequently stated
they were overrated,
but his view was different from inside.
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Miracle [Limerick]
A sinner sat himself down in a pew --
A first-timer, he didn't know what to do.
Then -- blinded by light!
Dazzling color, so bright!
(Miracle repeats daily 'bout half past two.)
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Moose Limerick
A tour bus sticker of mating moose
led a tourist to say, "What the deuce?"
"I just cannot deal
with a tour bestial,
and the memories that it might induce."
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PROMPT: Stronger
Daily writing prompt
What’s a moment that made you realize you were stronger than you thought?
Many times. In many ways. Not always good. One time in a packed conference room for a mandatory graduate seminar, I realized I’d forgot to wear deodorant on an Indian summer day in Georgia, and — thus — smelled stronger than I’d thought. (Maybe, I’d put on the deodorant, but it — being as exhausted as I — hadn’t the will to stay in the fight.) Of course, when I first caught a whiff, my internal monologue was like, “Oh man, who skipped the shower!” But after a couple pit sniffs made as surreptitiously as I could manage, there was no lying to myself further. (No lying about the smell, and no lying to myself that pretending to wipe my lip on my collar was really any less gross than just owning the sniffing my own pit.) I — on that occasion — was the stinky kid.
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Drunkard’s Cask [Limerick]
A drunkard put a cask atop his car
so he wouldn't always have to find a bar.
Under that kind of weight --
The car's range: km - 8,
But his own range per liter wasn't that far.
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BOOK: “New Comic Limericks” ed. by Ivanette Dennis
New Comic Limericks by Ivanette DennisMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
This anthology consists of 63 pages of whimsical limericks with amusing cartoon illustrations by Louis Marak. There aren’t laugh-out-loud yucks to be had here, but the wordplay of these poems is clever and the limericks are more well-crafted than most. It should be pointed out that there is nothing risqué in the collection either. The most best-known limerick writers included are Ogden Nash, Edward Lear, Gelett Burgess, and Charles Barsotti. [Incidentally, the most famous writers included are Rudyard Kipling, Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr., and Robert Louis Stevenson.]
The pieces take a wide variety playful approaches to the limerick from eye rhymes, slant rhymes and the shape poetry of Charles Barsotti.
If you’re interested in limericks and wordplay, there is a lot to learn from the examples presented in this anthology.
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Tiger Riding for Beginners 