“I was tossed by a bison.”
PROMPT: Best Excuse
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Category Archives: dark humor
Builder Limerick
A skilled Slovakian builder
got his plans and was bewildered.
They were upside down.
Had they been turned around
an Aide wouldn't 've fell from the basement, which killed her.
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PROMPT: Underrated
Alfred Krupa, Bernard Sadow, and Robert Plath, men whose inventions over thirty-three years during the late twentieth-century ushered in a new epoch in human history — the era of the wheeled suitcase.
Now, the fact that we didn’t figure out putting wheels on a suitcase until the late 20th century (and that when we did it took several long-fought permutations before wheeled suitcases were worth a damn) is a chilling testimony to how quickly General Artificial Intelligence will leave our species in the dust.
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PROMPT: Pandemic
Daily writing prompt
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
That’s so far in the rearview that I can’t remember. I’m thinking about the next one. It’ll be here before you know it.
I’m not quite sure what to do about it now that the CDC guidelines are to drink a shot of bleach each morning for the germs and take one bath in raw sewage before bedtime each evening for a robust immune system.
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Stump Gator [Kyōka]
Gator rests on stump.
but my mind cannot rest.
it's not "gator"
and "stump" in the same place,
but in the same sentence.
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The Industrial Disease [Lyric Poem]
I heard the last gasp and wheeze
of Industry's fatal disease.
Why would we need any workers?
We don't need factories!
We'll grow it all from nanobots
in a closet where you please.
There'll be a 3-D printer, printing
printers endlessly.
You won't hear another mention
of Industrial Disease.
The question is not how or where
to make it, that'll be a breeze.
The question on economist's minds...
that strains their expertise.
Is how will slobs who have no jobs
pay for their indices?
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PROMPT: People Say
I hope they say, “He was kind of loud, never kept to himself, and we always thought he might be a serial killer.”
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PROMPT: Pet
It’s a friend who may not understand what you’re going through, but who will never talk… and sometimes eagerly helps with the digging when you’re burying the body. Try finding a human friend like that.
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Sword-Lion Inquiry [Lyric Poem]
I see this lion, swords in teeth,
And find myself in disbelief,
Am I to believe this wild cat
Swallowed two men, coats, belts, and hats,
But the swords got stuck?
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Statistician Limerick
The police questioned an old statistician
Whose department had suffered attrition.
"My memo was wrecked
by auto-correct:
Distribution of 'Poisson' became 'Poison.'"
Tiger Riding for Beginners 