A sinner sat himself down in a pew --
A first-timer, he didn't know what to do.
Then -- blinded by light!
Dazzling color, so bright!
(Miracle repeats daily 'bout half past two.)
Miracle [Limerick]
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Category Archives: Limerick
Locomotive [Limerick]
The man loved travel by locomotive.
It was all of the time in the throat of
tunnels, so dark and deep --
one couldn't see a peep.
He had night vision goggles... and motive.
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Moose Limerick
A tour bus sticker of mating moose
led a tourist to say, "What the deuce?"
"I just cannot deal
with a tour bestial,
and the memories that it might induce."
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Frankfurt Limerick
A streetwalker from Old Town Frankfurt
had a proclivity for getting hurt.
'Twasn't violent clientele.
She tripped and she fell
where heel met cobble met tight skirt.
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Drunkard’s Cask [Limerick]
A drunkard put a cask atop his car
so he wouldn't always have to find a bar.
Under that kind of weight --
The car's range: km - 8,
But his own range per liter wasn't that far.
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Snail [Limerick]
The snail's friends and family were critics,
claiming -- despite being hermaphroditic:
so, with two ways to coit --
neither did it exploit,
but read books in its shell, strange & cryptic.
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BOOK: “New Comic Limericks” ed. by Ivanette Dennis
New Comic Limericks by Ivanette DennisMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
This anthology consists of 63 pages of whimsical limericks with amusing cartoon illustrations by Louis Marak. There aren’t laugh-out-loud yucks to be had here, but the wordplay of these poems is clever and the limericks are more well-crafted than most. It should be pointed out that there is nothing risqué in the collection either. The most best-known limerick writers included are Ogden Nash, Edward Lear, Gelett Burgess, and Charles Barsotti. [Incidentally, the most famous writers included are Rudyard Kipling, Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr., and Robert Louis Stevenson.]
The pieces take a wide variety playful approaches to the limerick from eye rhymes, slant rhymes and the shape poetry of Charles Barsotti.
If you’re interested in limericks and wordplay, there is a lot to learn from the examples presented in this anthology.
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Dandelion [Limerick]
“Spring has lined all roads with dandelions.”
At this a young girl started cryin’
You see, to her ear,
‘Twas rational fear,
For she was afraid of Dandy Lions.
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Shit Creek [Limerick]
The sign said that one cannot swim,
But the chances of that were quite slim.
It looked like pea soup,
But the color of poop,
To swim up Shit Creek you'd have to be dim.
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CZECH REPUBLIC LIMERICK
A parachutist from Czech Republic
never ever did have too much luck.
He dodged a tall spire,
bounced off a high wire,
hit a wall and knocked loose some pub bricks.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 