There was a famed Georgian vintner
who thought about wines all winter –
as he thought, he drank,
and -- let us be frank –
he became less vintner than drinker.
GEORGIA LIMERICK
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Category Archives: humor
PROMPT: Three Jobs
List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.
Well, I just read Shoji Morimoto’s Rental Person Who Does Nothing, about a job of the same name, and that sounds like a sweet gig. Sorcerer sounds like an exciting career path. Finally, cowbell and tambourine guy sounds great for someone who has no musical talent but who would like to be in a rock-n-roll band.
To recap: 1.) Rental Person Who Does Nothing; 2.) Sorcerer; 3.) Cowbell / Tambourine artist in a rock-n-roll band.
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GERMANY LIMERICK
There was a colorblind decorator in Germany
who couldn’t tell crimson from ruby from burgundy.
Where precision rules
this was less than cool.
Customers saw red as far as the eye can see.
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CHINA LIMERICK
There was an old man from China
who thought he was having angina,
but it was the Kung Pao --
with peppercorns for WOW! --
that gave heartburn to the old man of China.
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SINGAPORE LIMERICK
There was a young man from Singapore
who worked at the docks as a stevedore.
It was a good income,
’til he spit out his gum,
and the cops came knocking at his door.
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KAZAKHSTAN LIMERICK
There was an Eagle Hunter of Kazakhstan,
which sounds like Eagle was hunted by man,
but the Eagle goes hunting,
the man sits doing nothing –
It’s a sweet gig for Eagle Hunters in Kazakhstan.
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PERU LIMERICK
There was a Guinea Pig from Peru
who didn’t know just quite what to do.
He’d heard there were places
-- oh, so magical places –
where his kind lived as pets not as food.
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FINLAND LIMERICK
A hardcore Metal drummer from Finland
refused to be without his sticks in hand,
but then the poor slob
couldn’t work a doorknob,
missed gigs, & got kicked out of the band.
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CANADA LIMERICK
There was a hockey player from Canada
who was entirely lacking in stamina.
He shot like a sniper,
but breathing was hyper,
He got outskated by dear old grand-ma-ma.
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KENYA LIMERICK
There was a chill burglar from Kenya
who, as he worked, listened to Enya.
It lulled him to sleep,
a sleep far too deep.
He woke up where burglars, they send ya.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 