I use my own system of criticism that inverts the usual scale, meaning that getting a zero (turds) is quite good (and increasingly rare,) and — unlike stars — if you ever reach a five-turd rating you are truly the worst. It saves time in conveying my thoughts on all sorts of things.
Try to live your life:
sunlight washes out
the distant mountains;
they look like
an old Chinese painting --
ink faded with age.
The dragonfly strafing lilies
doesn't know how very silly
a bantam taller than a ram
seems to a ram tall as a filly.
I would not like a tattoo.
I would not like one - old or new.
I wouldn't like one in a Zoo.
I wouldn't like one in a canoe.
I would not like one,
Ham though I am,
I would not like any body-spam.
![Photo of wall mural of a dark horse and a white horse with Chinese text and stamp. Taken in Melaka, Malaysia's Chinatown [Jonker Street area.]](https://berniegourley.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/img_5617.jpg)
Tiger Riding for Beginners 