I’d probably tell myself to take a different undergrad major (I did 4 years of military before college, so it would still be relevant.) That said, I don’t know that my 20-year-old self would listen to me any more than he did to anyone else.
I think about this in yogic terms. In the niyama of yoga there are two guiding ideas that – at first – seem contradictory. Santosha is contentment. Tapas is discipline. So, on one hand, Patanjali was suggesting one needs to accept what one is (santosha,) but, on the other hand, he was suggesting that one needs to keep the fire of self-development burning (tapas.) [Note: I realize there are different readings of these two concepts, these are the versions that have resonated with me.]
These two ideas did seem at odds until I realized that they answer different questions. Contentment is the answer to “Am I enough?” Tapas is the answer to “Can I be better?”
Long story short, I see wishes such as the desire to be six inches taller or to be a celebrity as a waste of time and mental energy. However, I see the need to be a healthier and more equanimous version of myself as an ever-present driver.
What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?
At this point, it would need to be something AI / robots won’t possibly be able to do better, faster, cheaper in the near term. This leaves jobs for which one’s humanity is a central part of the job. Unfortunately, I suck at many aspects of being a human. Maybe I’ll become a robot and beat them at their own game.
I had better never see a book
ralph waldo emerson; The american scholar
than to be warped by its attraction clean out of my own orbit,
and made a satellite instead of a system.
Free should the scholar be, — free and brave.
Ralph waldo emerson; The American Scholar
If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it is lethal.
Paulo coelho
What you’re supposed to do when you
Maya angelou
don’t like a thing is change it.
If you can’t change it,
change the way you think about it.
Don’t complain.
No man ever steps in the same river twice,
Heraclitus
for it’s not the same river
and he’s not the same man.
From the outskirts of the town
Where of old the mile-stone stood,
Now a stranger, looking down
I behold the shadowy crown
Of the dark and haunted wood.
Is it changed, or am I changed?
Ah! the oaks are fresh and green,
But the friends with whom I ranged
Through their thickets are estranged
By the years that intervene.
Bright as ever flows the sea,
Bright as ever shines the sun,
But alas! they seem to me
Not the sun that used to be,
Not the tides that used to run.
Sparrows cast on my desk their shadows in pair,
And willow down falls in my inkstone here and there.
Sitting by the window, I read the Book of Change,
Not knowing when has Spring gone, I only feel strange.
Note: This is the joint translation of Xu Yuanchong and Xu Ming found in the Golden Treasury of Quatrains and Octaves (a Bilingual edition of 千家诗 “Thousands of Poems”) on which they collaborated (i.e. China Publishing Group: Beijing (2008) p. 40)
If I can spark the occasional smile of amusement or trigger a line of thought once in a while, that’s enough. In the long run, it’s all dust. (That latter commentary was more on the thought-provoking than the amusing side of the equation.)
In the cloud-grey mornings
I heard the herons flying;
And when I came into my garden,
My silken outer-garment
Trailed over withered leaves.
A dried leaf crumbles at a touch,
But I have seen many Autumns
With herons blowing like smoke
Across the sky.
For a long time, I’d have said that I’d like to be less introverted. However, adjusting my attitude towards introversion, managing it, and recognizing / valuing the strengths that derive from it has been one of the most enlightening and empowering processes of my life. (So, I’m keeping it.)
However, I do have an ulnar impaction in my wrist that I’d be happy to get rid of (if anyone with such powers is taking requests.)
dense bloom clusters
of one week are a carpet
on the ground the next.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 