The police questioned an old statistician
Whose department had suffered attrition.
"My memo was wrecked
by auto-correct:
Distribution of 'Poisson' became 'Poison.'"
Statistician Limerick
1
Category Archives: poem
“Butterflies in Love with Flowers” by Zhu Shuzhen [w/ Audio]
Thousands of willow twigs beyond my bower sway;
They try to retain spring, but she won't stay
For long and goes away.
In vernal breeze the willow down still wafts with grace;
It tries to follow spring to find her dwelling place.
Hills and rills greened all over, I hear cuckoos sing;
Feeling no grief, why should they give me a sharp sting?
With wine cup in hand, I ask spring who won't reply.
When evening grizzles,
A cold rain drizzles.
Translation: Xu Yuanchong [translator]. 2021. Deep, Deep the Courtyard. [庭院深深.] Cite Publishing: Kuala Lumpur, pp. 146-147.
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Double Entendre Limerick
She came to the party joking about her Dick,
And was advised it was time to change up her schtick.
Her husband Richard
Was becoming triggered,
Hearing her tell strangers she just loved her Big Dick.
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“The Call” by Charlotte Mew [w/ Audio]
From our low seat beside the fire
Where we have dozed and dreamed and watched the glow
Or raked the ashes, stopping so
We scarcely saw the sun or rain
Above, or looked much higher
Than this same quiet red or burned-out fire.
To-night we heard a call,
A rattle on the window-pane,
A voice on the sharp air,
And felt a breath stirring our hair,
A flame within us: Something swift and tall
Swept in and out and that was all.
Was it a bright or dark angel? Who can know?
It left no mark upon the snow,
But suddenly it snapped the chain
Unbarred, flung wide the door
Which will not shut again;
And so we cannot sit here anymore.
We must arise and go:
The world is cold without
And dark and hedged about
With mystery and enmity and doubt,
But we must go
Though yet we do not know
Who called, or what marks we shall leave upon the snow.
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Mole Limerick
There once was a lady with a mole,
And, about it, she was hard to console.
Examples were proffered,
Such as Cindy Crawford.
"But mine is dead, & it dug such fine holes."
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Lover’s Limerick
There once was a Shakespearean lover,
Who, in darkness, crawled under cover.
Much to his surprise,
Having no use of eyes,
He later learned 'tweren't his lover, but another.
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“Darest Thou Now O Soul” by Walt Whitman [w/ Audio]
Darest thou now O soul,
Walk out with me toward the unknown region,
Where neither ground is for the feet nor any path to follow?
No map there, nor guide,
Nor voice sounding, nor touch of human hand,
Nor face with blooming flesh, nor lips, nor eyes, are in that land.
I know it not O soul,
Nor dost thou, all is a blank before us,
All waits undream'd of in that region, that inaccessible land.
Till when the ties loosen,
All but the ties eternal, Time and Space,
Nor darkness, gravitation, sense, nor any bounds bounding us.
Then we burst forth, we float,
In Time and Space O soul, prepared for them,
Equal, equipt at last, (O joy! O fruit of all!) them to fulfill O soul.
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Spring Rain [Haiku]
sweet rain scent, &
sound of spatter on leaves, &
one drop on the face.
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Lone Fisherman [Haiku]
Ruins [Senryū]
a cow grazes
on a plinth once reserved
for priests & kings.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 