Be kind and tender to the Frog, And do not call him names, As 'Slimy skin,' or 'Polly-wog,' Or likewise 'Ugly James,' Or 'Gape-a-grin, or 'Toad-gone-wrong,' Or 'Billy Bandy-knees': The Frog is justly sensitive To epithets like these. No animal will more repay A treatment kind and fair; At least so lonely people say Who keep a frog (and, by the way, They are extremely rare).
How to Talk Dirty and influence people by Lenny Bruce
The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature, a complete impossibility!
Algernon
Oh! it is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn’t. More than half of modern culture depends upon what one shouldn’t read.
ALgernon
It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don’t mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.
Algernon
One has a right to Bunbury anywhere one chooses. Every serious Bunburyist knows that.
Algernon; [fyi: “Bunburying” is the use of appointments with ficticious individuals to get out of one’s duties and obligations.]
One should always eat muffins quite calmly.
Algernon
There once was a prolific reviewer
who reviewed everything from shipyards to sewers.
With great dispassion,
he reviewed an assassin,
and wished he'd written one review fewer.
There once was a wild-eyed firewalker whose show turned out to be a shocker. His feet were unharmed, but clothes not as charmed. they burst aflame & he became a firesquawker.
A cow is an animal, &
animals are creatures.
So, having strong proclivities
is a cardinal feature.
Calling them "creatures of habit"
must be for a reason.
If creatures did not form habits
the term would lose cohesion.
But I digress, I must admit.
Let me get to my point.
You see, a sloping pasture must
be murder on the joints!
A random beast, who stood this way
& that, would balance out,
but standing each day - just one way -
could cause a hip blowout.
A cow that grazes on a pitch
must have unequal legs.
Maybe, all it would take would be
two tiny pirate pegs.
For wearing pegs on the downslope
side would align the hips,
but then on walks down to the barn
cows would be prone to trips.
For now, there's just one solution:
bovine chiropractors!
Because the cost will be so great,
I'm seeking benefactors.
So many historic figures
whose look we think we know.
Did Jesus of Nazareth sport
hippie hair & a halo?
Perhaps, he did have quite long hair
but not the tawny blonde
of which so many "portraitists"
seemed to be quite fond.
The Shakespeare that we recognize
is drawn from memory.
Kings oft declared true depiction
a form of treachery.
Past commoners' appearances
are lost in bygone days.
We know Van Gogh from a mad mind,
and know him thirty ways.
Do you know whose look we do know?
Every teen now alive.
There're pics from every angle
stored on redundant drives.
Doomsday preppers prepare for Armageddon,
neatly arranging food, supplies, and weapons.
A combo of OCD
& whooping hillbilly?
I think I'll just let the warheads beckon.
the curious child
remains unbaffled by the
complexities
of snail amore:
thinking the lead a tow-snail.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 