It’s a friend who may not understand what you’re going through, but who will never talk… and sometimes eagerly helps with the digging when you’re burying the body. Try finding a human friend like that.
PROMPT: Pet
1
Category Archives: Friendship
BOOKS; “Rental Person Who Does Nothing” by Shoji Morimoto
Rental Person Who Does Nothing by Shoji MorimotoMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Publisher Site — Harper Collins
This quirky little book is the memoir of a man who formed a business lending himself out as “rental person who does nothing.” At the time the book came out, Morimoto did this without charging his “customers” anything except travel expenses and any food and beverages consumed as part of the activity in question. [As I understand it, he eventually began charging a per session fee ($85 USD at the time of the 2022 BBC piece on him that I watched.)] The book does discuss Morimoto’s thoughts about how to charge (i.e. hourly or per session,) how much to charge, whether to find a different financing model (e.g. sponsorship or patronage,) and why he ultimately rejected them all (at least for a time.) In fact, the whole penultimate chapter (ch. 4) is about the economics of his business.
The most interesting aspect of the book is the psychological insight on offer. The first question that arises is why people would use a stranger for these activities, and not a friend. One might jump to the conclusion that the people who use his service have no friends, but this is generally wrong. There are a number of reasons why people who have friends use his service. First, many times friends can’t just sit and listen empathetically, but rather they have to try to solve the problem. This can be irritating because it is often dismissive of the challenges confronting the other person. But also, as Morimoto points out, it also creates a hierarchy (a top dog) in what would otherwise be a co-equal relationship. A fascinating second factor pointed out by the author is that adults, unlike children, rarely have general-purpose friends. Adults, instead, have contextual friends. So, if one wants to engage in an activity that is outside the domain of one’s contextual (work, bar, hobby, etc.) friendship, it might not be easy. There are many other psychological insights relating to what people ask him to do, the issue of reciprocity, and what Morimoto defines as “doing nothing” for the purposes of this business.
I found this quick and simple book to be packed with insights into human nature, and I’d highly recommend it for readers interested in what makes people tick.
View all my reviews
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
PROMPT: Personality Trait
Dogmatic thinking and the humor blindspots that correspond.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
“Changed” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow [w/ Audio]
From the outskirts of the town
Where of old the mile-stone stood,
Now a stranger, looking down
I behold the shadowy crown
Of the dark and haunted wood.
Is it changed, or am I changed?
Ah! the oaks are fresh and green,
But the friends with whom I ranged
Through their thickets are estranged
By the years that intervene.
Bright as ever flows the sea,
Bright as ever shines the sun,
But alas! they seem to me
Not the sun that used to be,
Not the tides that used to run.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
PROMPT: Modern Society
In short, I think we need to foster emotional intelligence and not just academic intelligence, and we need to rebuild social interaction in a super-tribal world (i.e. a world too big for everyone to know everyone else.) [But do the latter without the xenophobia.]
To elaborate:
First, I think we need some true coming-of-age experience that facilitates a sense of self-empowerment. This would not just be collecting envelopes of cash and dancing a dance or reciting a prayer, but something more akin to being dropped in the woods for a week. Of course, this would require engaged parenting and skill acquisition and not just leaving kids with video games and social media. It seems like a lot of our present problems result from people with no sense of empowerment or the emotional intelligence that comes therefrom. Such people may have passed all the tests but still have “imposter syndrome” and the like.
Second, we need some sort of way to build tribal-scale groups in which people interact with a small group of others repeatedly — in person and face-to-face. The challenge is that this needs to be done without increasing xenophobia, which is already trending the wrong way. I think there is a problematic tendency to be virtually engaged but not personally engaged with others in humanity. Even in I, who am intensely introverted, the social impulse remains, but we live in a world where people can successfully dropout.
Some people get one or both of these experiences in any number of ways, but it seems like an ever-increasing segment of the population lacks confidence (even if they had a 4.0 gpa the whole way through their formal education,) and lacks human interaction (even if they have 2000 social media “friends.”)
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
PROMPT: Friend
What quality do you value most in a friend?
The ability to converse intelligently on a wide range of subjects.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 