Mongooses or Mongeese?
My Jamaican friend says,
"It's GEESE, mahn!"
But I can't tell whether that's
a Mon-guess [or a guess, mahn!]
I'd prefer a non-guess
on the mongoose's gees-i-ness,
lest I develop lexical queasiness.
It seems like it should be mongeese,
because "mongoose" is very
much like "goose."
[As my Jamaican friend would say,
"It's jus wit the 'Mon,' mahn!"]
On the other hand, a mongoose
don't look like no goose I've
ever seen.
A man who sold marital aids door to door heard from a husband in an uproar. "An 'aid' for whom? It can't be the groom. Your product has three speeds, so I now need four."
There once was a lazy sales clerk who didn’t want clients to think her a jerk. The solution, you see, was the airport duty-free, where there’d be no obligation to work. [And the salary would be a nice perq.]
When Voltaire said:
“Once a nation begins to think, it is impossible to stop it.”
I don’t think he’d anticipated smartphones.
when you’re the family
go-getter, and yet you’re
a zoned-out mess.
There was a Bible-thumping lady from Charleston who, in her views, was no less than puritan. She tried to ban books she hadn't given a look because, like "Moby Dick," the titles were smut-ridden.
There was a shrewd carpenter from Zambia dismayed to hear what was paid to IKEA. He took apart his shelves, said, "Make 'em yourselves!" upped his rates, but threw in a hex key-a.
There was a bureaucrat from old Beijing who claimed that COVID was in a downswing, "It must be, you see, for it cannot be the rules changed cause of shouts of "Can Xi Jinping!"
There was a famed therapist from Vienna who knew the source of all angst and each dilemma. "Sexy thoughts of your mom made you fear the A-bomb!" "Uh, it started last week when I fell from an antenna."
I don't mean to cast aspersions, but it would seem to me parents shouldn't give a child stabby things 'fore the age of three. I don't know whether this household has a pup or kitty, but if the kid can spear the floor the pets ain't look'n pretty. Saying a babe shouldn't have a spear, you'll call me "left-wing nut," but I don't like dog-on-a-stick: even if it's a mutt.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 