If people follow you of their own free volition, you are a good leader. You could also be horrible cult guru or self-serving dictator, but people have multiple facets.
Category Archives: Relationships
BOOK: “Love Thy Stranger” by Bart D. Ehrman
Love Thy Stranger: How the Teachings of Jesus Transformed the Moral Conscience of the West by Bart D. EhrmanMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Publisher Site – Simon & Schuster
Release Date: March 24, 2026
In this book, Ehrman argues that the development of Christianity started a sea change in the Western world’s approach to charity, altruism, and forgiveness. The idea is that both Greco-Roman philosophies and Judaism (Christianity’s religious precursor) were more tribal. Those systems clearly presented arguments for being charitable and kind, but in the context of those closest to you — your family and immediate neighbors — i.e. your ingroup. However, Ehrman proposes that those systems did not suggest any obligation to be charitable or kind to those who were strangers to one.
This is an intriguing book and provides many thought-provoking ideas and lessons from scripture, philosophy, and history. Ehrman definitely makes a case, but I don’t know that it is as strong as it might seem. In short, I think he did a great job of collecting stories and teachings that supported his point but showed less willingness to consider stories that might refute his thesis. I did appreciate how often Ehrman acknowledged contradictory views even when they conflicted with his own — often (appropriately) in footnotes. That said, I can’t recall seeing anything about the story of the Syrophoenician woman, a tale that seems to negate the book’s argument. In that story, a woman (of Syrophoenician origin) comes seeking Jesus’s help and is at first rebuked and turned away. Jesus says, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” Suggesting he neither sees her as the same species nor worthy of assistance. While it is true that Jesus does eventually assist her after she demeans herself (“Even dogs eat the children’s crumbs,) it’s still indication that he was far from advocating one behave lovingly toward all.
The book begins by dealing with broader questions, such as whether altruism actually exists (i.e. has existed) anywhere (i.e. are kind actions always self-serving?) and what the existing thinking was on the subject in Western philosophy and Abrahamic religion in Jesus’s day. I thought these first few chapters were quite beneficial for setting the stage before jumping into the building of the book’s central argument.
For those interested in what Jesus taught and what became of his teachings after his death, I’d recommend this book, or even for anyone interested in the changing shape of Western morality and ethics over time. I think the author conveys many interesting ideas in a readable and approachable way.
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PROMPT: First Impression
My conscious mind would only tell lies about this. While I’ve long been aware that I’m an introvert, it’s only more recently come to my attention that I have resting-“get the hell away from me”-face. It’s nothing I ever purposeful cultivated, and — now, being aware of it –I’m trying to be more discerning. (But I have a lot of decades of programming to work against.)
PROMPT: Neighbor
What makes a good neighbor?
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be… plus, has good judgment about when to call the cops.
BOOKS; “Rental Person Who Does Nothing” by Shoji Morimoto
Rental Person Who Does Nothing by Shoji MorimotoMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Publisher Site — Harper Collins
This quirky little book is the memoir of a man who formed a business lending himself out as “rental person who does nothing.” At the time the book came out, Morimoto did this without charging his “customers” anything except travel expenses and any food and beverages consumed as part of the activity in question. [As I understand it, he eventually began charging a per session fee ($85 USD at the time of the 2022 BBC piece on him that I watched.)] The book does discuss Morimoto’s thoughts about how to charge (i.e. hourly or per session,) how much to charge, whether to find a different financing model (e.g. sponsorship or patronage,) and why he ultimately rejected them all (at least for a time.) In fact, the whole penultimate chapter (ch. 4) is about the economics of his business.
The most interesting aspect of the book is the psychological insight on offer. The first question that arises is why people would use a stranger for these activities, and not a friend. One might jump to the conclusion that the people who use his service have no friends, but this is generally wrong. There are a number of reasons why people who have friends use his service. First, many times friends can’t just sit and listen empathetically, but rather they have to try to solve the problem. This can be irritating because it is often dismissive of the challenges confronting the other person. But also, as Morimoto points out, it also creates a hierarchy (a top dog) in what would otherwise be a co-equal relationship. A fascinating second factor pointed out by the author is that adults, unlike children, rarely have general-purpose friends. Adults, instead, have contextual friends. So, if one wants to engage in an activity that is outside the domain of one’s contextual (work, bar, hobby, etc.) friendship, it might not be easy. There are many other psychological insights relating to what people ask him to do, the issue of reciprocity, and what Morimoto defines as “doing nothing” for the purposes of this business.
I found this quick and simple book to be packed with insights into human nature, and I’d highly recommend it for readers interested in what makes people tick.
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PROMPT: Personality Trait
Dogmatic thinking and the humor blindspots that correspond.
PROMPT: Modern Society
In short, I think we need to foster emotional intelligence and not just academic intelligence, and we need to rebuild social interaction in a super-tribal world (i.e. a world too big for everyone to know everyone else.) [But do the latter without the xenophobia.]
To elaborate:
First, I think we need some true coming-of-age experience that facilitates a sense of self-empowerment. This would not just be collecting envelopes of cash and dancing a dance or reciting a prayer, but something more akin to being dropped in the woods for a week. Of course, this would require engaged parenting and skill acquisition and not just leaving kids with video games and social media. It seems like a lot of our present problems result from people with no sense of empowerment or the emotional intelligence that comes therefrom. Such people may have passed all the tests but still have “imposter syndrome” and the like.
Second, we need some sort of way to build tribal-scale groups in which people interact with a small group of others repeatedly — in person and face-to-face. The challenge is that this needs to be done without increasing xenophobia, which is already trending the wrong way. I think there is a problematic tendency to be virtually engaged but not personally engaged with others in humanity. Even in I, who am intensely introverted, the social impulse remains, but we live in a world where people can successfully dropout.
Some people get one or both of these experiences in any number of ways, but it seems like an ever-increasing segment of the population lacks confidence (even if they had a 4.0 gpa the whole way through their formal education,) and lacks human interaction (even if they have 2000 social media “friends.”)
“To a Husband” by Amy Lowell
PROMPT: Good Life
Right mind, healthy body, and good company.
PROMPT: Friend
What quality do you value most in a friend?
The ability to converse intelligently on a wide range of subjects.

