BOOKS: “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow” by Jerome K. Jerome

Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowIdle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow by Jerome K. Jerome
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Project Gutenberg Site

This is a collection of fourteen humorous essays on a range of topics related to human existence. Besides the titular topic of living a life of idleness, other discussions include: love, poverty, vanity, attire, eating, pets and babies. (The latter two being distinct topics addressed in different chapters, though not with an altogether different attitude.)

Much of the humor holds up well considering this book originally came out almost a hundred and forty years ago. That said, it must be acknowledged that some of the humor and a number of the attitudes have not aged well and will not necessarily be relatable.

If you’re looking for a collection of essays on life that are humorous, if not contemporary, this book is worth looking into.

View all my reviews

PROMPT: Excited

Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.

Going for a walk this morning. (I’m like a dog that way…. except I don’t pee during my walks… usually.)

“Untitled” [Pronunciation Poem] by Anonymous* [w/ Audio]

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough.
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, lough and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead -- it's said like bed, not bead.
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat.
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for pear and bear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose
Just look them up -- and goose and choose.

And cork and work and card and ward.
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come I've hardly made a start.

A dreadful language? Man alive,
I'd mastered it when I was five!

* This poem has come to be attributed to a T.S. Watt with a date of 1954. However, the broad divergence of titles and lack of other publication information suggest the alternate possibility that attribution was invented after the fact and has just been mindlessly copied across the internet. I don’t wish to cheat T.S. Watt, if he or she was an actual person who wrote this clever poem, but I also don’t wish to contribute to the spread of false information that happens regularly across the internet. Hence, this note.

Sword-Lion Inquiry [Lyric Poem]

I see this lion, swords in teeth,
And find myself in disbelief,
Am I to believe this wild cat
Swallowed two men, coats, belts, and hats,
But the swords got stuck?

Banker’s Limerick

There once was a profiteering banker
Who inspired only feelings of rancor.
When making rates for loans,
He stressed all the unknowns.
"Your yoghurt shop might be hit by an oil tanker!"

Monk’s Limerick

There once was a virtuous, old monk
Who never, ever had sex or got drunk.
He lived in silence,
And practiced non-violence...
Till one day, in a funk, he kicked a young monk
In the junk.

Actress Limerick

There once was a popular actress
Who most found cruel, catty, and tactless,
But the very worst part
Was the state of her art,
She only played herself in a different dress.

Preacher Limerick

There once was a preacher with Tourette's
And his case was as bad as it gets.
In times of aplomb,
He'd shout an f-bomb,
Making mourners more than a little upset.

Modern Art Limerick

There was an up-and-coming modern artist
Who went by the pseudonym "Arthur Fartist."
He painted with flair
From his derriere,
'Til critics judged his work, "not the smartest."

Statistician Limerick

The police questioned an old statistician
Whose department had suffered attrition.
"My memo was wrecked
by auto-correct:
Distribution of 'Poisson' became 'Poison.'"