Walking down a trail, I had quite a scare --
For walking straight towards me was a big ole bear.
It glanced at me, and then down at its feet,
Then that speciesist bear had the nerve to cross the street.
Bear [Lyric Poem]
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Category Archives: humor
Black Mamba [Lyric Poem]
The Black Mamba is not black...
Well, it's black inside its mouth,
But if you're getting that view,
Things have definitely gone south.
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Rhino [Lyric Poem]
Away trots a baby rhino.
It's the smallest rhino that I know,
And, yet, if it trotted on your foot,
Your foot would definitely be kaput.
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Fly [Lyric]
They say that each and every single fly
Has five thousand lenses in each eye:
A three-sixty view from toes to rump,
And thus I become the fly-swatting chump.
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Lizard [Lyric Poem]
Ah! What a life, to be a lizard:
Unacquainted with ice or blizzard,
Knowing only warmth and beaches...
All but for sand in one's nether reaches.
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Crab [Lyric Poem]
Not sure whether to call the crab "monstrous,"
Or, rather, to class it "preposterous?"
Claw outsized, staggering like drunken ants,
If I saw one dog-sized, I'd crap my pants.
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Giraffe Headbutts [Lyric Poem]
I was warned giraffes like to give headbutts.
I told the man, "You must be nuts!
Even if true, my head 's far too low."
"That's why we built a tower, now up you go!"
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Warthog [Lyric Poem]
Given that "warts" and "hogs" are both unloved,
Why not prybar letters, together shoved?
A well-placed dash might do the trick,
Would "War-Thog" sound too sci-fi bombastic?
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Red Panda [Lyric Poem]
The Red Panda: more red than Panda Bear --
I'll grant you similarity of facial hair.
Why is it not "the Ginger Raccoon?"
Too much like a bamboo-eating Irish buffoon?
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Dog [Lyric Poem]
We are fond of calling him "Man's Best Friend,"
What would he call us, if it were he who penned?
I wonder, would he have stayed at our feet,
Had we not mastered the grilling of meat?
Tiger Riding for Beginners 