Have you ever broken a bone?
To the best of my knowledge, I have never broken a bone — neither mine nor anyone else’s.
But it’s not been for a lack of trying.
Have you ever broken a bone?
To the best of my knowledge, I have never broken a bone — neither mine nor anyone else’s.
But it’s not been for a lack of trying.
Many a time, and I hope to do more. I highly recommend the experience. Nothing like sleeping close to the Earth to realize that there exists no patch of ground on the planet as flat and rock-free as one’s mattress.
I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;
Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.
The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.
And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.
The older I get, the more I find regret to be a sucker’s game. I was the me then that I was, wishing the me then was the me now is just a waste of angst. Learn and move. Learn and move. No regret.
All sorts of stuff — e.g. gabby strangers approaching me unexpectedly when I’m in a low mental energy state. But when I observe the sensation of that nervousness, without rumination or feeding of the feeling, it fades rapidly. As Twain [allegedly, but possibly never] said, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Be present.
A psychology teacher taught us about what he called “the gestalt of expectations.” It’s when one builds an alternative reality in one’s mind (typically a worst-case scenario) and then one acts as though it is a reality, when – in fact – it is not. (Though sometimes it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy situation, which — of course — triggers selection bias in people of the unexamined life.)
It was my introduction to what I would come to know as the most fundamental insight of human existence — i.e. that one’s experience of the world is not the world itself, and while one has minimal influence over the latter, one can have tremendous influence over the former. One can even train oneself to perceive difficulties and sorrows as learning and growth opportunities.
Feel them, but don’t feed them. By that I mean take time to be aware of the feelings, but do not let the mind go into its default mode of fixation upon the object informing these sensations and worst-case scenario building. Give the feelings your attention but recognize that you influence your experience of the world and don’t give the mind free reign to build an illusory scenario that it accepts as its reality. (i.e. Remember what Mark Twain said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”)
The biggest problem with negative feelings is that the go-to modern strategy is attempted distraction (by vice, by entertainment, by activity, etc.) this leads the body to turn up the heat. If you give the sensations your attention without adding value judgements, it becomes impossible to obsess. For yoga practitioners who’ve done Yoga Nidra (Yogic sleep) the experience will be familiar. One often begins by being attentive to sounds, by giving the sounds attention without judgement, your mind starts to lose interest and it becomes harder for those sounds to distract you throughout the practice. This approach to negative feelings is much the same.
Also, breathwork that extends the exhalation component of breath will shift the balance toward rest and digest activity.
Ultimately, realize that these feelings are just sensations your body and brain use to turn your attention in certain directions. They have no more power than that, other than what one grants them. They are not identical to — or inextricably linked with — the events of the world that triggered them, and — therefore — you get to be the master of, and not the slave to, your feelings.
The next time you find yourself getting bogged down by a negative feeling, give the feeling a minute or two of pure undivided attention, and then think, “This is a wonderful opportunity to learn how my body and mind work.” See what happens.
Lately, swimming… and, of course, rap battles.
The poet stands in the Center
And stares into deep mysteries.
He's nourished by reading Classics
And tombs of the men in Histories.
He sighs as four seasons pass by
And thinks upon ten-thousand things.
He's saddened by Autumn's leaf drop
And gladdened by the tender Spring.
He feels Winter's frost on his heart,
Though his mind may be up in a cloud.
And when he sings of ancestors'
Heroic deeds, he belts the song aloud.
He combs through great literature
Just as he roams the forest wild,
But in search of a "natural" --
Shown in elegant phrase and style.
And it's just such thoughts and feelings
That set my brush and mind wheeling.
The Original Chinese:
佇中區以玄覽,頤情志於典墳。
遵四時以嘆逝,瞻萬物而思紛。
悲落葉於勁秋,喜柔條於芳春,
心懍懍以懷霜,志眇眇而臨雲。
詠世德之駿烈,誦先人之清芬。
游文章之林府,嘉麗藻之彬彬。
慨投篇而援筆,聊宣之乎斯文。