“Handsome beyond words.” … And then hope they continue to not be able to see me.
PROMPT: Describe
Reply
Category Archives: humor
PROMPT: Bothers
I once got a masala cookie beside my coffee at a cafe that took itself way too seriously. What’s a masala cookie, you might ask? It’s treachery, I say. It sits on a plate pretending to be a delightful sugar cookie, but without sugar or sweetness of any kind — just salt and a spice mixture. It was supposed to bring out the notes of cherry, chocolate, and… Blah, Blah, Blah. You know what would bring out the notes of chocolate in the coffee, some fucking chocolate in the cookie — that’s what. You can’t just impersonate a cookie and expect anyone to tolerate that level of betrayal. I certainly don’t want to live in such a world. That’s it, the only offense of recent years that I haven’t gotten over. A few years after it happened, I walked by that place and saw that the cafe had gone out of business, replaced by a Hello Kitty phone-case store. Good! I hope the owner and staff have moved on, putting their liberal arts graduate degrees to good use, teaching at community colleges as they should, rather than terrorizing the public with pseudo-cookies to make their overpriced coffee seem more of a bargain. I’ll end my rant here to go sit with my trauma.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
PROMPT: Comfort
Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?
I never writhe in a tub of broken glass… anymore.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
BOOKS: “A Horse’s Tale” by Mark Twain
A Horse’s Tale by Mark TwainMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Project Gutenberg Page
Among the lesser-known works of Twain, A Horse’s Tale mixes an epistolary by a military officer at a remote outpost with dialogues between animals of the post (principally the protagonist, a horse called Soldier Boy.) The principal subject of the epistolary is a precocious girl who lives at the outpost and who is adored by all as the one soft, sweet creature in a world of warfighting men and their animals. The conversations between animals offer the most amusing portion of this book, largely for the fun being poked at humanity’s expense.
In its best moments, this novella is intensely touching or hilarious. However, it does suffer from inconsistency of pacing and tone.
If you enjoy Mark Twain’s humor and storytelling, this novella is well worth reading. If you’re primarily a reader of present-day genre / commercial fiction, it probably won’t be your thing.
View all my reviews
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
“Epigram for Wall Street” by Edgar Allan Poe [w/ Audio]
I'll tell you a plan for gaining wealth,
Better than banking, trade or leases —
Take a bank note and fold it up,
And then you will find your money in creases!
This wonderful plan, without danger or loss,
Keeps your cash in your hands, where nothing can trouble it;
And every time that you fold it across,
'Tis as plain as the light of the day that you double it!
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Five Wise Lines from George Carlin [April 2025]
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant
like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
I don’t believe there’s any problem in this country,
no matter how tough it is,
that Americans,
when they roll up their sleeves,
can’t completely ignore.
Here’s all you have to know about men and women;
women are crazy,
men are stupid.
And the main reason that women are crazy
is that men are stupid.
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete.
It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
BOOKS: “Be Funny or Die” by Joel Morris
Be Funny or Die: How Comedy Works and Why It Matters by Joel MorrisMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Author Site
Release date: Sept 4, 2025 [paperback, hardcover is already out]
This is a comedy writer’s guide to how humor is crafted. It’s a bit popular psychology and a bit of a how-to guide. If one is expecting, because it’s on comedy and humor, a book that is a laugh riot on every page, this isn’t the book for you. That’s not so say Morris doesn’t pepper the book with witty commentary and humorous examples, but it’s ultimately a book about how the sausage gets made and is, thus, somewhat analytic — if in a readable style.
At the core of Morris’s theory of comedy is a three-component structure: construct, confirm, and confound. Other major ideas are the fundamental tribalism of comedy and the connections between comedy and music. It wouldn’t be a present-day book on comedy if there wasn’t some discussion of the idea of offense and the “limits” of what can be said.
I can’t say all of Morris’s ideas found immediate resonance with me, but even when I didn’t fully buy the argument, I did find the presentation thought-provoking. For example, I don’t know that I buy Morris’s argument about the importance of tribality to comedy. I do agree that one needs a common language and some overlap of experience, but all of humanity has a domain of overlap of experience. Yes, one may have an easier time the more extensive that overlap is, but ease doesn’t necessarily mean one can’t get big laughs from an audience whose worldviews and experience are radically different from one’s own. [Of course, I may just be being overly sensitive as a traveler in a tribal world.]
For writers, the end of the book has a few chapters that are more about story than comedy – per se, and – while these chapters compare and contrast comedy and drama writing – they provide information useful to any writer engaged in storytelling.
I’d highly recommend this book for any readers interested in comedy writing, be it of standup material, scripts, or other content.
View all my reviews
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Panther [Lyric]
The panther is a scary cat:
Hardcore Hellcat primed for combat.
Except - that is - I have to say
The twenty hours it sleeps per day.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
All or Nothing Limerick
An egg delivery guy from Bangalore:
2,000 eggs on a scooter, door-to-door.
If his bike ever tipped,
He’d be severely whipped,
For his job was all-or-nothing & nothing more.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Malacca Limerick
There once was a pirate of Malacca,
Who liked ramen and chow mein and hakka.
He'd eat any noodles
by the oodles and oodles,
But, with no fiber, he couldn't make caca!
Tiger Riding for Beginners 