Mongeese? [Free Verse]

Mongooses or Mongeese?

My Jamaican friend says,
     "It's GEESE, mahn!"

But I can't tell whether that's
     a Mon-guess [or a guess, mahn!]

I'd prefer a non-guess
     on the mongoose's gees-i-ness,
     lest I develop lexical queasiness.

It seems like it should be mongeese, 
      because "mongoose" is very
      much like "goose."
 [As my Jamaican friend would say,
      "It's jus wit the 'Mon,' mahn!"]

On the other hand, a mongoose 
      don't look like no goose I've
      ever seen.

Traveling Salesman Limerick

A man who sold marital aids door to door
  heard from a husband in an uproar.
   "An 'aid' for whom?
   It can't be the groom.
 Your product has three speeds, so I now need four."  

Duty-Free Limerick

There once was a lazy sales clerk 
 who didn’t want clients to think her a jerk.
  The solution, you see, 
  was the airport duty-free,
 where there’d be no obligation to work.
 [And the salary would be a nice perq.]

Food for Thought [Voltaire & Smartphones]

When Voltaire said:

“Once a nation begins to think, it is impossible to stop it.”

I don’t think he’d anticipated smartphones.

Charleston Limerick

There was a Bible-thumping lady from Charleston
   who, in her views, was no less than puritan.
 She tried to ban books
  she hadn't given a look
 because, like "Moby Dick," the titles were smut-ridden.

Huế Limerick

There was a bike-rick driver in Huế
  always honked at for being in the way.
 He took loads fit for a truck,
  drove 'em crosstown for a buck,
 and got their faster by using the expressway.

Zambia Limerick

There was a shrewd carpenter from Zambia
  dismayed to hear what was paid to IKEA.
 He took apart his shelves,
  said, "Make 'em yourselves!"
upped his rates, but threw in a hex key-a.

Beijing Limerick

There was a bureaucrat from old Beijing
who claimed that COVID was in a downswing,
"It must be, you see,
for it cannot be
the rules changed cause of shouts of "Can Xi Jinping!"

Vienna Limerick

There was a famed therapist from Vienna
who knew the source of all angst and each dilemma.
"Sexy thoughts of your mom
made you fear the A-bomb!"
"Uh, it started last week when I fell from an antenna."

Cambridge U. Limerick

When Lord Byron lived at Cambridge University,
he greatly increased campus diversity.
He lived with a bear.
They were quite the pair.
For the poet, the dog ban was a perversity.