A skilled Slovakian builder
got his plans and was bewildered.
They were upside down.
Had they been turned around
an Aide wouldn't 've fell from the basement, which killed her.
Builder Limerick
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Category Archives: Poetry
Animal Taxi Limerick
There once was an animal tow truck
that would taxi your horse or your duck.
Size wasn't deemed relevant
'til up showed an elephant,
and the overladen truck got stuck.
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The Fig Treatment [Free Verse]
On a scale from
"this is cozy"
to
"my skull is cracking,"
I wonder how the fig tree
at Wat Mahathat treats
the Buddha's head?
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Buckingham Palace Limerick
A randy guard of Buckingham Palace
stood at attention, but so, too, his phallus.
He did his very best -
stock still like all the rest,
but was exposed by tent and hand callus.
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Tainted (Free Verse)
A gorgeous day:
the sky is blue;
the air is crisp,
and a bird swoops in low
over the field to land
in search of insects.
The sign is kind of a bummer:
It tells me that 13,000
people died here --
most by shitting themselves
into unconsciousness.
(it doesn't use those exact words.)
This is Andersonville --
site of a Civil War prison camp.
Here, I believe in ghosts.
I don't believe in ghosts
when drinking my morning coffee
at my dining room table.
I don't believe in them when I
turn off my bedside lamp.
I don't believe in them anywhere --
anywhere else -- really.
But here they vibrate up
through my boot heals,
and I fear I may
shit myself.
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Beekeeper [Limerick]
There was an equanimous beekeeper --
so calm he looked like an upright sleeper.
Slow & quiet on task
'til one got in his mask,
and blinded him with stings to each peeper.
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Radio Fan Limerick
A radio fan from Vienna
got no reception with his antenna --
except when wired
to the church spire.
Piety left him on the horns of dilemma.
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Windsurfer Limerick
Some hardcore fanatic windsurfers
found sunny days couldn't match their fervor.
They got it on the brain
to ride a hurricane,
and rode the wind from Jamaica to Port Arthur.
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Safari Guide Limerick
There was a cocky safari guide
who - of lions - was often quite snide.
He frequently stated
they were overrated,
but his view was different from inside.
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Felonious Fig [Free Verse]
I thought I caught a fig tree,
escaping over a stone wall,
but when I turned my attention
upon it, it stayed so very still.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 