An egg delivery guy from Bangalore:
2,000 eggs on a scooter, door-to-door.
If his bike ever tipped,
He’d be severely whipped,
For his job was all-or-nothing & nothing more.
All or Nothing Limerick
2
Category Archives: humor
Malacca Limerick
There once was a pirate of Malacca,
Who liked ramen and chow mein and hakka.
He'd eat any noodles
by the oodles and oodles,
But, with no fiber, he couldn't make caca!
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PROMPT: Favorite People
People who take nothing seriously. A distant second goes to those who take everything seriously. And dead last, being people I avoid at all costs, are those who have a sizable set of ideas that they believe should be treated deadly seriously by everyone, while finding others’ serious stuff to be mockable.
Einstein said there are two ways of viewing the world, as if everything is a miracle or nothing is. I’m sure Einstein recognized that there were many people who, in fact, believed their own sect to have “legitimate miracles,” while believing the miracles of other sects were mere superstition. And what he was really getting at was that the latter stance is presumptuous, indefensible, and – quite frankly – ridiculous. Anyhow, my own spin is that there are two legitimate ways to view the world: to take nothing serious and to take everything seriously. All others are shades of petty narcissism.
[As I think of it, I guess I could have answered more simply with the single word: “Travelers.”]
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PROMPT: Pet Tricks
If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?
Partial differential equations. First of all, then it could explain them to me. Secondly, I could completely demoralize all the Westminster types who think they have “smart dogs.”
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Chimpanzee [Lyric Poem]
Our closest relative, the Chimpanzee
Lacks our affinity to be fancy.
To them we are but pant-wearing buffoons
Who've lost all freedom to shoot the moon.
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Cheetah [Lyric Poem]
A Cheetah can beat a Porsche to a hundred.
(Imagine the tumble if a clumsy one blundered.)
In fact, Cheetah's are so very, very fast
that your future is way, way back in its past.
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Donkey [Lyric Poem]
The Donkey 's known to be a stubborn beast,
But when one won't move - maybe wheels weren't greased.
I've seen angry humans push, pull, and tug,
But never give a peptalk or a hug.
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Pelican [Lyric Poem]
The Pelican, when it has formed a group,
Is said to be a squadron, pouch, or scoop.
I find that naming scheme quite puzzling;
Isn't its "pouch" where it keeps soup for guzzling?
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Snake [Lyric Poem]
I saw a snake had made a gnarly bed --
On logs and stones, its length did curl and thread.
Ah, to be comfy on bark's ragged bumps...
I wake up when PJ's wad to a lump.
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“The Bumblebee” by James Whitcomb Riley [w/ Audio]
You better not fool with a Bumblebee!--
Ef you don't think they can sting -- you'll see!
They're lazy to look at, an' kind o' go
Buzzin' an' bummin' aroun' so slow,
An' ac' so slouchy an' all fagged out,
Danglin' their legs as they drone about
The hollyhawks 'at they can't climb in
'Ithout ist a-tumble-un out ag'in!
Wunst I watched one climb clean 'way
In a jimson-blossom, I did, one day,--
An' I ist grabbed it -- an' nen let go--
An' "Ooh-ooh! Honey! I told ye so!"
Says The Raggedy Man; an' he ist run
An' pullt out the stinger, an' don't laugh none,
An' says: "They has be'n folks, I guess,
'At thought I wuz prejudust, more or less, --
Yit I still muntain 'at a Bumblebee
Wears out his welcome too quick fer me!"
Tiger Riding for Beginners 