The sign said that one cannot swim,
But the chances of that were quite slim.
It looked like pea soup,
But the color of poop,
To swim up Shit Creek you'd have to be dim.
Shit Creek [Limerick]
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Tag Archives: humor
PROMPT: Ambitious DIY
Trying to get squirrels out of the attic. They did me like Macaulay Culkin / Kevin McCallister in Home Alone. Ultimately, had to call experts (pest control, not hitmen,) and they made short work of it.
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PROMPT: Favorite People
Those who don’t take many things seriously, themselves least of all.
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Mystery Door [Lyric Poem]
There's something about an old wood door --
ornate (but on some humdrum street)
that makes one wonder if it's more
than its neighbors -- something offbeat:
Perhaps, a portal into Hell,
a Speakeasy of unknown vice,
a smelly cheese smuggling cartel,
a school for wizards, imprecise.
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PROMPT: At Your Age
I suspect they’d have been making strange and new noises every time they got up from a seat, as well as experiencing randomly distributed sharp shooting pains every once in a while. The apple, presumably, doesn’t fall far from the tree.
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Stump Gator [Kyōka]
Gator rests on stump.
but my mind cannot rest.
it's not "gator"
and "stump" in the same place,
but in the same sentence.
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Common Box Turtle [Lyric Poem]
"The race is to steady turtles!" --
Even if the race has hurdles?
Even with its great longevity
it'll never have lift or levity
to finish before life runs out.
Hold off with race applications.
Is racer your ideal vocation?
I don't mean to be Sower of doubt,
but think speed isn't what you're about,
and that you'd make a fine doorstop.
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Raccoon [Lyric Poem]
Looking like a masked bandito,
Raccoon dunks expired burrito.
It dips it not to get it clean
but to flavor it: Swamp Latrine.
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Cheetah Speed [Lyric Poem]
Swiftly sprints the slender Cheetah,
running smoothly as Velveeta.
But right now it can't rouse its feet-ah,
and slogs just like a Walmart Greet-ah.
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Meerkat Lecture [Lyric Poem]
Please allow me a conjecture:
One Meerkat stood to give lecture,
But as with me, as a pupil,
Other Meerkats lacked the scruple
To make a show of listening,
Finding the walls more interesting.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 