A girl got herself an intrepid beau, but she'd long owned a vibrating dildo. "That thing has three speeds to exceed her base needs I'll need four, none too quick nor too slow."
Four on the Floor [Limerick]
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One day I passed a gray monkey, and something made me turn. I caught the primate in the act of issuing a burn. Its eyes were closed; its tongue stuck out. Its head twisted to tease. And when it saw me seeing it, for a sec, it did freeze. As if not a thing had happened, and it was not to blame. Before I could make my rebuke it multiplied my shame. by blowing me a raspberry followed by a big smirk. Then it scrambled away before I went truly berserk.
Funny on Purpose: The Definitive Guide to an Unpredictable Career in Comedy: Standup + Improv + Sketch + TV + Writing + Directing + YouTube by Joe Randazzo
The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved by Hunter S. Thompson
There once was a customer service rep
who spoke with a smile and great pep.
“That’s not my department,
but prepare for bombardment:
Your refund in twenty-six random steps.”