Four on the Floor [Limerick]

A girl got herself an intrepid beau,
but she'd long owned a vibrating dildo.
"That thing has three speeds
to exceed her base needs
I'll need four, none too quick nor too slow."

Mocking Monkey [Common Meter]

One day I passed a gray monkey,
and something made me turn.
I caught the primate in the act 
of issuing a burn.

Its eyes were closed; its tongue stuck out.
Its head twisted to tease.
And when it saw me seeing it,
for a sec, it did freeze. 

As if not a thing had happened,
and it was not to blame.
Before I could make my rebuke
it multiplied my shame.

by blowing me a raspberry
followed by a big smirk.
Then it scrambled away before
I went truly berserk.

BOOK REVIEW: Funny on Purpose by Joe Randazzo

Funny on Purpose: The Definitive Guide to an Unpredictable Career in Comedy: Standup + Improv + Sketch + TV + Writing + Directing + YouTubeFunny on Purpose: The Definitive Guide to an Unpredictable Career in Comedy: Standup + Improv + Sketch + TV + Writing + Directing + YouTube by Joe Randazzo
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Amazon.in Page

Get Speechify to make any book an audiobook

Former editor of the hilarious faux-newspaper, The Onion, (Joe Randazzo) provides a broad overview of the humor creation industry, and the many jobs, therein. Whether you’re interested in scriptwriting, performing stand-up, or starting a YouTube channel that provides color commentary of crippling skateboarding accidents, this book has tips and insight into how said job works, how to do the job, and how to avoid the pitfalls. And, as expected, the book offers humor throughout. That said, the first priority is educational, so one shouldn’t expect a laugh-a-minute humor extravaganza.

The book is divided into five parts. The first four parts delved into the various humor content creation jobs (writing, performing, making pictures, and making internet content,) and the last part is about the common business aspects like understanding intellectual property rights, knowing the difference between an agent and a manager, and learning how to get people to give you money for a product you don’t yet have.

One nice feature the book offers is brief interviews with various experts such as Judd Apatow, Weird Al, Joan Rivers, many people you’ve never heard of but I’m sure are good at what they do, and a few that you will have heard of if you have obsessive niche tastes in humor. The interviews are short, but it does help to have insight from someone whose life has largely focused on a particular dimension of humor creation. Randazzo has a diverse background, including writing, performing, and television and internet work, but there are fine insights to be gained from a specialist.

I got a lot out of this book and would recommend it for those interested in the humor content creation industrial complex.

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A Sign from Above [Limerick]

There was a resplendent Portuguese church
with plenty of places for pigeons to perch,
Parishioners went to mass,
moving quite fast,
to keep clothes -- not repute -- un-besmirched.

ESSAY REVIEW: The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved by Hunter S. Thompson

The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and DepravedThe Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved by Hunter S. Thompson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Online Available Free: Grantland

Available within the collection: The Great Shark Hunt

This story is cited as the first work of gonzo journalism, a highly entertaining style of immersion journalism which takes liberties with objectivity and factual detail for comedic effect or heightened narrative impact. The Kentucky Derby is more setting than subject of the story. It’s Thompson attempting to throw together coverage of the horse race at the last minute for Scanlan’s Monthly, a magazine that existed less than a year. So, the story is as much Thompson racing around trying to con his way into some press passes as he and the graphic artist sent by the magazine go on a booze-fueled junket on and around the race track grounds.

The story is laugh-out-loud funny in places, and features Thompson’s irreverent and fast-paced style throughout. It really was something new. Thompson, apparently, thought he’d failed completely when he sent in the story, but the response indicated that – rather – he’d invented something new, something for which there would be a huge market.

It’s definitely worth reading this story, just don’t expect deep insight into the horse racing tradition of Kentucky.

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Zoo Overkill [Limerick]

There was a Zoo where the creatures were plastic.
Said the new guy, "I don't mean to be drastic,
but since our beasts aren't real,
let's lose the cages of steel,
we'll have the first petting zoo lion -- it'll be fantastic!"

Customer Service Limerick

There once was a customer service rep
who spoke with a smile and great pep.
“That’s not my department,
but prepare for bombardment:
Your refund in twenty-six random steps.”

Columbus Limerick

Praising Columbus is now impolitic.
Truth is, he's considered a bit of a dick.
But you've got to respect
one who -- wholly unchecked --
can rename people & places, and it sticks.

Childhood Limerick

Back in the days of crayons and blocks,
every kid wanted the sixty-four box.
I was low-spirited;
told my talent merited
just eight colors of Cray-kray knockoffs.

Conspiracy Theorist’s Limerick

A conspiracy theorist wouldn't take shots -
claimed they were laced with tracking nanobots.
But he never left home
without taking his phone
which constantly triangulated his exact spot.