Category Archives: humor

PROMPT: Principles

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What principles define how you live?

Before traveling, empty my cup. Before returning home, empty my cup.

Collect experiences, not geegaws.

Wishing for the world to be some other way is a grand waste of time.

If there is a river flowing toward where I want to be, surrender to it.

See humor everywhere, especially in myself.

Be content with who I am at the moment, while struggling to be a better version in future editions.

Strive to find the non-adversarial path.

Keep looking until I see what is beautiful in all things and creatures.

Don’t attempt to construct anyone else’s list of principles to live by.

Feel the sensations that arise without letting the mind amplify them out of proportion.

Seek only simple pleasures, enjoy them fully, and then move on.

Different Wavelengths [Lyric Poem]

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The parrot stands, as if jilted. 
  The chipmunk sniffs, as if intrigued.
 Parrot behaves ever so stilted.
  Chipmunk is just hungry and fatigued.

UNITED ARAB EMIRATES LIMERICK

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There was a Bedouin from the UAE
  who never in his life had seen a tree.
     Walking through lands
     of endless sands,
  he had nothing to hide behind to take a pee.

CAMBODIA LIMERICK

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There was a Cambodian archaeologist 
  who dug up temples in jungles – get the gist.
      But one day his dig,
      under a Strangler Fig,
  got him strangled… or so claimed the botanist.

NETHERLANDS LIMERICK

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There was a sweet girl from the Netherlands
  who worried the hard rains might never end.
     When street became moat,
     She traded bike for boat.
 At canal-surfing she became a veteran.

MONGOLIA LIMERICK

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There was a young monk from Mongolia
  Who loved Buddhism’s peace, but was only a
      little bit dismayed
      to long for the days –
  When Mongols ruled from Okhotsk to Anatolia.

ARMENIA LIMERICK

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There was an artist from Armenia
 Who worked in many a media.
      Work iconoclastic…
      Or pornographic;
  Often it started straitlaced but got seedy-ya.

GEORGIA LIMERICK

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There was a famed Georgian vintner
    who thought about wines all winter –
       as he thought, he drank,
       and -- let us be frank –
   he became less vintner than drinker.

PROMPT: Three Jobs

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List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

Well, I just read Shoji Morimoto’s Rental Person Who Does Nothing, about a job of the same name, and that sounds like a sweet gig. Sorcerer sounds like an exciting career path. Finally, cowbell and tambourine guy sounds great for someone who has no musical talent but who would like to be in a rock-n-roll band.

To recap: 1.) Rental Person Who Does Nothing; 2.) Sorcerer; 3.) Cowbell / Tambourine artist in a rock-n-roll band.

GERMANY LIMERICK

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There was a colorblind decorator in Germany
  who couldn’t tell crimson from ruby from burgundy.
     Where precision rules 
     this was less than cool.
  Customers saw red as far as the eye can see.