A drunken old idealist philosopher
got pulled over by a "pos'lif ossifer."
"Oh, can't you see,
my true self 's a tree,
and you can't justly jail a conifer!"
A mystic sought to be one with all things,
but couldn't make it, allowing no strings,
"I'm a little bit torn:
one with rose equals thorn,
and one with bees invites many a sting."