The Donkey 's known to be a stubborn beast,
But when one won't move - maybe wheels weren't greased.
I've seen angry humans push, pull, and tug,
But never give a peptalk or a hug.
Donkey [Lyric Poem]
2
Category Archives: humor
Pelican [Lyric Poem]
The Pelican, when it has formed a group,
Is said to be a squadron, pouch, or scoop.
I find that naming scheme quite puzzling;
Isn't its "pouch" where it keeps soup for guzzling?
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Snake [Lyric Poem]
I saw a snake had made a gnarly bed --
On logs and stones, its length did curl and thread.
Ah, to be comfy on bark's ragged bumps...
I wake up when PJ's wad to a lump.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
“The Bumblebee” by James Whitcomb Riley [w/ Audio]
You better not fool with a Bumblebee!--
Ef you don't think they can sting -- you'll see!
They're lazy to look at, an' kind o' go
Buzzin' an' bummin' aroun' so slow,
An' ac' so slouchy an' all fagged out,
Danglin' their legs as they drone about
The hollyhawks 'at they can't climb in
'Ithout ist a-tumble-un out ag'in!
Wunst I watched one climb clean 'way
In a jimson-blossom, I did, one day,--
An' I ist grabbed it -- an' nen let go--
An' "Ooh-ooh! Honey! I told ye so!"
Says The Raggedy Man; an' he ist run
An' pullt out the stinger, an' don't laugh none,
An' says: "They has be'n folks, I guess,
'At thought I wuz prejudust, more or less, --
Yit I still muntain 'at a Bumblebee
Wears out his welcome too quick fer me!"
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Lion-tailed Macaque [Lyric Poem]
I came upon a Lion-tailed Macaque,
And was instantly taken aback.
Sure, its tail was lion-like, but what's weird
Is that namers didn't call upon that beard!
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Orangutan [Lyric Poem]
Orangutans live their lives in the trees.
The jungle has as many as they please --
But - with trees - the Zoo is quite sparing,
Leaving just one twig: non-loadbearing.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Tortoise [Lyric Poem]
Thirty-year-old man buys same-aged tortoise;
Middle-aged tortoise: owner has rigor mortis.
In retrospect, it was a stupid plan;
Clearly, the tortoise should have bought the man.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Sleeping Bear [Kyōka]
the sleeping bear
seems at peace, and still does
when its eyes open,
but my mental state - and
my drawers - are quite changed.
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
“The Mad Gardener’s Song” by Lewis Carroll [w/ Audio]
He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
"At length I realize," he said,
"The bitterness of Life!"
He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece,
"Unless you leave this house," he said,
"I'll send for the Police!"
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
"The one thing I regret," he said,
"Is that it cannot speak!"
He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the 'bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
"If this should stay to dine," he said,
"There won't be much for us!"
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
"Were I to swallow this," he said,
"I should be very ill!"
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
"Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!"
He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage-Stamp.
"You'd best be getting home," he said,
"The nights are very damp!"
He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
"And all its mystery," he said,
"Is clear as day to me!"
He thought he saw an Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
"A fact so dread," he faintly said,
"Extinguishes all hope!"
Share on Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.
Gaur [Lyric Poem]
A gaur looks like a -roided up cow.
You could try hooking to it a cart or plow,
But I suspect it would turn the tables,
And you'd end up living in its stables.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 