There once was a pirate of Malacca,
Who liked ramen and chow mein and hakka.
He'd eat any noodles
by the oodles and oodles,
But, with no fiber, he couldn't make caca!
Malacca Limerick
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Tag Archives: Limerick
Dragon Rider Limerick
There once was a rider of dragons
Who drank alcohol by the flagon,
But dragons are mythic,
So, there was an uptick
In rides when he fell off the wagon.
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“There was an Old Man with a beard” by Edward Lear [w/ Audio]
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared! --
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
NOTE: This poem no. 1 of Lear’s The Book of Nonsense.
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Forensic Psychologist’s Limerick
There once was a forensic psychologist
Who came across as quite the apologist:
"The arsonist, you see,
Simply yearns to be free --
Hence, burning all the walls - if you get my gist."
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Banker’s Limerick
There once was a profiteering banker
Who inspired only feelings of rancor.
When making rates for loans,
He stressed all the unknowns.
"Your yoghurt shop might be hit by an oil tanker!"
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Singer’s Limerick
There once was a primadonna singer
Who on a note could forever linger.
Thinking her a showboat
For dragging out one note,
The band took five mid-melisma to share chicken fingers.
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Monk’s Limerick
There once was a virtuous, old monk
Who never, ever had sex or got drunk.
He lived in silence,
And practiced non-violence...
Till one day, in a funk, he kicked a young monk
In the junk.
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Actress Limerick
There once was a popular actress
Who most found cruel, catty, and tactless,
But the very worst part
Was the state of her art,
She only played herself in a different dress.
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Preacher Limerick
There once was a preacher with Tourette's
And his case was as bad as it gets.
In times of aplomb,
He'd shout an f-bomb,
Making mourners more than a little upset.
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Fortuneteller Limerick
There once was a low-budget fortuneteller --
So rock-bottom she worked out of a cellar.
"Life'll be good; life'll be bad!
Someday, you'll lose mom, or dad."
Even playing the odds, her record wasn't stellar.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 