There was a man with a fondness for beer.
There was nothing else that he held so dear.
Beer-goggles were his Cupid,
& beerplugs muted his stupid:
though it remained for the plugless to hear.
A girl got herself an intrepid beau,
but she'd long owned a vibrating dildo.
"That thing has three speeds
to exceed her base needs
I'll need four, none too quick nor too slow."