If this was one of those “living or dead” scenarios, I’d have to go with Mark Twain. But as it may not be, and I wouldn’t want to have dinner with a box of bones, I’d say Chuck Palahniuk, or — in nonfiction — David Brooks.
PROMPT: Author
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Tag Archives: David Brooks
PROMPT: People
Daily writing prompt
What’s a moment when a stranger completely restored your faith in people?
I will admit that I’m quite jaded, but the only place I need my faith in people COMPLETELY restored is online. Almost anytime I interact with real people in the real world I come away with a sense that people are generally good and mostly trying to do right (in as much as they can determine what “good” and “right” mean in our complicated world.) However, as soon as one allows for anonymity, shittiness blossoms — whether that anonymity is due to the nature of the online world or because one is otherwise not interacting face-to-face or because one (while not strictly anonymous) is homogenized by life inside an echo chamber.
Huh, maybe I do need my faith in people restored because I guess I’m saying that people in the light of day are loveable but in the dark they slouch toward depravity. Maybe we’ll figure it out. For most of humanity’s existence, anonymity was not an option. There’s no hiding in a tribe. It’s all part of what our species is working out, I suppose. I suspect that most people if given the choice between having the ill-gotten gains of their anonymity or being truly and deeply seen would opt for the latter.
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BOOK: “How to Know a Person” by David Brooks
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David BrooksMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Publisher – Penguin Random House
This book’s subtitle, “The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen,” gets pretty well to the crux, and among that mouthful the word that repeats, “Deeply,” is not to be overlooked. Brooks noticed that while on some level we are more readily connected than ever, there is also an epidemic of loneliness and personal dissatisfaction in the world the likes of which has never before been seen (and so that level on which we are hyper-connected must in some way be defective.) Brooks argues that most of us would benefit from a sea change in our approach to conversation, from asking more and better questions, from listening more carefully, from understanding how the other person’s world framing is different from one’s own, and from changing our conversational objectives (from things like making oneself look good or meeting societal conventions to making our interlocutor feel seen and worthing of one’s time and one’s interest.) In short, we should strive to be what Brooks calls “illuminators.”
The book devotes some special attention in its middle section to negotiating conversations that are difficult — how one can do a better job showing acknowledgment of one’s interlocuter’s perspective while in the same interaction expressing one’s own feelings and ideas.
I found this book to be highly engaging and perspective changing. Brooks uses fascinating and emotionally salient stories from the world, from his own life, and even from fiction. He also uses humor, anecdotes, and quotations to great effect. I learned a great deal from reading this book and would highly recommend it for anyone interested in being a better friend and conversationalist.
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