Performed? Not yet. (Unless you count “Crowd Member Milling About [with No Lines] – #7” in an Elementary School Christmas Pageant.) Given a speech? Yes. Unless it is completely impromptu, it is nowhere near the top of my list of horrifying life events.
I never met a one I didn’t like.
1.) Remaining incognito. (I conceal my identity by being no one of interest.)
2.) Calling animals. (They do not come, but I maintain that I'm effective at getting their attention. They give perplexed looks and seem to be thinking, "Why is that dumb-ass human making strange noises?")
3.) Slipping on ice. (It's effortless to me.)
4.) Conveying an air of indifference. (At any given moment, you'd probably conclude that I don't give a shit.)
5.) Eating rotisserie chicken. (It's not pleasant to watch, but I leave not a scrap of meat. It's like a sun-bleached skeleton when I'm done with it.)
A Jetpack and Rollerblades.
I assume just a little more of all the things I already do, with a substantial amount of that time being spent in rest.
The thought, “If I didn’t have to rest I could do so much more” is one of modern life’s most cancerous modes of thinking.
Didn’t we all learn during the pandemic that when commutes and other travel / in-person time obligations go away, life fluidly swells to fill the void. Like having to learn Zoom, etc.
Life gives no free lunches, learn to live with it.
The part that feels routine.
What could you try for the first time?
My problem is that I’m old enough that all the low hanging fruit has been consumed, meaning most “first times” involve a serious time investment. For example, I’d love to go skydiving, but you can’t just jump out of a plane, you have to either watch a safety video or sabotage a plane. All for a five-minute experience. And if you don’t want to do it with a stranger strapped intimately close to you, you need to do probably watch several safety videos and practice pulling a cord over and over again. [Question: They sometimes ask if you’d like a male or female massage therapist when you get a massage, but I’ve never heard of being given the option when tandem skydiving. How come it’s ok to be homophobic, or hetero-phobic, in one instance, but not the other? Just asking.]
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
The first time I went drove to another state and stayed in a hotel on my own (late teens, obviously after getting a driver’s license — but a year or more before graduating high school.)
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.
Cast a magic spell? Everything I know of in this world comes with no such guarantee — at least anything worth one’s time. It’d be better to spend one’s time learning to thrive under uncertainty.
What is your favorite hobby or pastime?
Swimming, at the moment.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 