Lies My Tuk-Tuk Driver Told Me

Taken Sept 5, 2013 in Bangalore, India

Taken Sept 5, 2013 in Bangalore, India

Tuk-tuks or Autorickshaws  are the ubiquitous three-wheeled vehicles-for-hire seen throughout South and Southeast Asia. (Note: Owing to their evolution from walking or pedal rickshaws, they’re sometimes just called “rickshaw” for short, or even “pedicab” or “petty cab”–the latter likely a corruption of the former.) They’re an essential way to get around in the big cities of Mega-Asia, but almost everyone has a bad experience with one at some point.

Let me point out that I’m not suggesting that most tuk-tuk drivers are amoral liars, but as a tourist (or someone who looks like one) the drivers that approach you probably will be. The vast majority of drivers are honest, hard-working men (and the elusive woman) just trying to put food on the table. That’s why my key advice to people on the subject is, “Pick your driver, and don’t ride with the ones who pick you. Then always negotiate your fare–or make sure they will use the meter– before you get in.” The drivers who pick you often have rationalized that it’s alright to treat foreigners like crap. And I’m not so much talking about charging you a little more money (which I personally don’t mind), but more that it’s alright to waste your time or take you places you didn’t ask to go [and potentially much worse.]

Well, without further ado, I’ll share some of my interactions with drivers. This is inspired by a whooper I was told yesterday.

1.) Driver: “The Temple is closed.”
Me: “But there’s a line of Caucasians and Japanese people with cameras going into the place right this moment. I can see them as we speak.”
Driver: “Uhh, monks and nuns.”

2.) Driver: “That road closed. Big protests. Throwing stones. Very dangerous!”
Me: “But I can see all the way to the corner where we need to turn, there’s nobody there.”
Driver: “They hide. [Pantomiming popping up over a wall] Throw rocks.”

3.) Driver: “Meter[ed fare is] 200 Rupee, but I’ll take– only 150 Rupee.”
Me: “I just took a trip yesterday that was 50% farther and took twice as long, and the metered fare was 50 Rupee.”

4.) Driver: “But traffic very bad, VERY BAD. Premium rate time.”
Me: “But it’s Sunday morning at 8:00am. I haven’t heard a horn for half an hour, and I happen to know that there’s no such thing as ‘premium rate time.'”
Driver: “It’s new.”

5.) Driver: “You can’t get from here to there, except go past travel office.”
Me: “Sure you can. It’s one block over and then a straight shot of five kilometers. The travel office is four kilometers out-of-the-way.”
Driver: See lie #2

DAILY PHOTO: Popsicle Time!

Taken September 8, 2013 in Lal Bagh Gardens, Bangalore.

Taken September 8, 2013 in Lal Bagh Gardens, Bangalore.

DAILY PHOTO: Flower Market

Taken Sept 7, 2013 at Gandhi Bazaar

Taken Sept 7, 2013 at Gandhi Bazaar

DAILY PHOTO: State Central Library

Taken on September 3, 2013 in Cubbon Park

Taken on September 3, 2013 in Cubbon Park

Bangalore has many buildings that look dull red in the midday light but become a vivid orange when exposed to the long, low light of dawn and dusk. This is but one. Others include the Karnataka High Court and the State Museum.

7 Things I Dig About Bangalore

1.) Mornings:

Bangalore (Bengaluru) isn’t an early riser, and that makes the mornings an idyllic time for those of us who are so inclined. The weather is cool; the pollution is tamped down by all that plant respiration, and the wailing horns are sparse. It’s the best time to take a walk. One can actually cross busy intersections with minimal delay and risk to life and limb. Cubbon Park is closed to vehicular traffic.

Words to live by

Words to live by

2.) Parks:

Bengaluru was once called the “Garden City.” While some refute this moniker in the face of the hyper-growth of this high-tech city, Cubbon Park, Lal Bagh Gardens, and numerous small parks offer aesthetically pleasing and relaxing oases.

Lal Bagh Botanical Gardens displays a large collection of Bonsai.

Lal Bagh Botanical Gardens displays a large collection of Bonsai.

3.) Restaurants: 

The city offers a wide range of options for both South Indian cuisine as well as more cosmopolitan fare. I’ve sampled many local restaurants as we’ve been getting settled. The most iconic place I’ve eaten at in Bangalore is the Lal Bagh Road location of the Mavalli Tiffin Rooms (MTR.) I had the lunch thali. (For those unfamiliar, a thali is India’s answer to China’s dim sum, or what foodies might call a “tasting menu”– which is to say small portions of a large assortment of foods. MTR offers an interesting dining experience. One sits down at a large table, quite probably with a group of strangers, while bustling stewards come around to ladle up the thali’s various component dishes. MTR’s food was delicious, but, more importantly, it’s hygienically prepared as well. The restaurant was built on the idea of strict food sanitation standards. I have anecdotal evidence to support this claim as I made my sole slip thus far by drinking water whose origin I didn’t know from a cup that was placed before me at this restaurant.  I was none the worse for the experience. I suspect MTR uses bottled water because there wasn’t any  flat taste that I associate with boiled water, but–whatever they did– they did something. While I have a fairly robust system by Western standards, I’m under no illusions that I’d do well drinking untreated tap water here. (Time Out Bengaluru did a little piece in its “The City by Numbers” segment in the current issue. They say that 59% of Bangalore’s tap water is not potable, and 8.4% of borewell water is contaminated by E. Coli. Incidentally 0% of borewell water is potable.)

The Lal Bagh Road store, which I understand is not the original location, but is  the oldest of the existing locations.

The Lal Bagh Road store, which is not the original location, but is the oldest of the existing locations.

While I have not yet tried any of the other locations, it should be noted that some of the newer restaurants appear to be more hip, trendy, and not so utilitarian. I saw the location below near Janata Bazaar. There is also a location blocks from where I live.

MTR Gandhi Nagar location.

MTR Gandhi Nagar location.

4.) Serenity Against All Odds:

Despite the frenetic pace of this town, there are still many who manage to find some clarity and piece of mind. Besides the yoga practitioners in Cubbon Park and the adherents of various indigenous religions at temples and shrines throughout the city, there are large meditation centers headed by famous gurus. The most well-known of these are Sri Ravi Shankar’s Art of Living centers.

Cubbon Park with the roads closed to vehicles.

Cubbon Park with the roads closed to vehicles.

5.) Climate:

We’ve seen some heavy rains in the evenings and overnight since we’ve been here. This is apparently out of the usual as the rainy season should be over. However, even with nighttime rains, the weather has been great. Bangalore is the San Diego of India in that the climate doesn’t tend toward the extremes witnessed in many other parts of the country. This may have influenced the British decision to build a military base here. It most certainly influenced the wave of retirees who came here afterward. And it likely factors in to the calculus of all those IT firms that have converged here in recent years.

The Glass House of Lal Bagh gardens, and a typical Bangalorean sky.

The Glass House of Lal Bagh gardens, and a typical Bangalorean sky.

6.) Stree Life: 

In Atlanta, as in most of urban America, one won’t see wildlife bigger than a squirrel or animals bigger than a dog –at least not outside of the zoo. So large domesticated animals in the city is a big change, as is being able to go to the nearby countryside and see the likes of elephants. I’ve been surprised how freaked out some city dwellers in America got by the likes of a fox or a tomcat. It’s good to see people can move about in the presence of large animals without feeling the need to eliminate them.

The well-known Indian street bovine.

The well-known Indian street bovine.

The lesser known Indian street goat.

The lesser known Indian street goat.

7.) Markets: 

I’ve been to the City (KR) Market, the Janata Bazaar, the Gandhi Bazaar, and everything from large, modern shopping malls to little neighborhood shops. Commerce thrives throughout the city in all its varied forms.

Near Janata Bazaar

Near Janata Bazaar

DAILY PHOTO: Orange as Cammoflague

IMG_0292The background in this photo is the Hindu temple that is on the site of Tipu Sultan’s Palace, but which predates the Sultan’s Indo-Islamic teak structure. There is a simple but beautiful garden in between the palace and the temple that displays various flowering plants.

 

DAILY PHOTO: The Tree of Life

Taken September 3, 2013

Taken September 3, 2013 in Lal Bagh Botanical Gardens

The Horn As A Navigational Tool

When I was learning to drive, one piece of advice I still remember was:

Never blow your horn because whatever damn fool thing the other driver is doing to get you in an accident is predictable. They will continue to do the same damn fool thing. Therefore, focus on avoiding the collision, and not venting your anger. Honking the horn can only cause the other driver’s panicked reaction to be unpredictable, thus making the situation more dire. The horn can cause inopportune slamming of the brakes, gunning the accelerator, or swerving sharply (invariably in the direction one was hoping to avoid them.)

This isn’t advice practiced in India. Rather the horn seems to be used to say, “One of us should be paying attention right now, and I kind of need a break.”

I suspect one reason why Indians don’t follow the above advice  is because there is no erratic response to horn blowing here–there is no response whatsoever. The locals don’t even hear the horns anymore. I’ve only been here three days and I’m already becoming desensitized to them. (Although I took an early morning walk this morning and everything was perfect in the world because the horn blowers had not yet awoken.) No doubt, many literally cannot hear the horns after a lifetime subjected to the blare,

I wonder whether the blowing of the horn isn’t just an attempt to assert one’s existence among the whirring throngs of motorists.

Bangalore suffers from regular, albeit ephemeral, power outages. Sometimes the sewer drains don’t work as intended. Sometimes, cars come to a gliding halt; hoods popping up. But one thing works with the certainty of death and taxes. and that’s the horn on every single motorized vehicle in the country. One would think the horns would wear out, that they would choke and sputter, but there seems no sign of that.

1 in 3 drivers are looking at the road at any given moment

Only 1 in 3 drivers are looking at the road at any given moment (but the one not looking slams on his horn to alert others to keep an eye on him.) 

DAILY PHOTO: Backstreet Bangalorean Chapel

Taken September 2, 2013

Taken September 2, 2013

Once and a while stumbling through the back streets pays off, and rewards one with an unexpected treasure.

DAILY PHOTO: Handicrafts Market

Taken September 1, 2013 in Bangalore, India.

Taken September 1, 2013 in Bangalore, India.

This is my first post from my home for the next two years–Bangalore, India. I arrived in the  wee hours of the morning, and–owing to fuzzy-headedness that I’ll blame on jet lag–I forgot to put a memory card in my computer. Thus, I haven’t had a chance to take many pictures yet.  More to come.