A man laid down with a wound to the head. The doctor claimed he was already dead. "It's really not so bad. This one time I had two swords in my brain," the optimist said.
The Optimist [Limerick]
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Tag Archives: Limerick
The Skepticism-less Skeptic [Limerick]
The philosopher, René Descartes, said, "I'll doubt everything, just to start." but once he "proved" God, what are the odds, the wheels rolled off his skeptical cart.
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Astronomical Fail [Limerick]
The astronomer Francesco Sizzi worked himself into a tizzy: "More rocks in space? There're seven holes in a face! Pssh! Galileo calls himself scientist, but is he?"
Note: When Galileo suggested Jupiter had moons, Sizzi summarily rejected the idea based on the “rationale” that there couldn’t be more than seven natural satellites because there are seven holes in a mammal’s head, seven days in a week, and [somehow] seven metals… ergo, seven astronomical bodies, maximum.
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Ancestral Mathematics Limerick
A scholar who loved precise specificity was asked about his exact ethnicity. "That very much depends how far back one extends: I'm seven-eighths Brit, but all Kenyan - for simplicity."
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Strangler Fig Limerick
There was a man who lived in the jungle -oh! A fig took root in the roof of his bungalow. 'Twas a spotless hut, 'til the door grew shut, and the place was overcome by a fungal growth.
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Dream Limerick
There was a retiree named Graham who dreamt he was unprepared for an exam. "What a dream, you fool! You're sixty years out of school, and still have an impulse to cram!"
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Hypnotic Limerick
A hypnotic subject entered a trance, then clucked like a chicken and danced. "I didn't even ask you perform these tasks," said the hypnotist, looking askance.
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Metaphysical Limerick
A drunken old idealist philosopher got pulled over by a "pos'lif ossifer." "Oh, can't you see, my true self 's a tree, and you can't justly jail a conifer!"
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Mystic Limerick
A mystic sought to be one with all things, but couldn't make it, allowing no strings, "I'm a little bit torn: one with rose equals thorn, and one with bees invites many a sting."
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A Midsummer Night’s Limerick
Four Athenian youths fled out to the trees, lacking the love geometry to put hearts at ease. It might've been tragic, but Puck worked his magic. They returned by twos, not ones or threes.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 