There was a writer from the Czech Republic
who only got a few of his works published.
But for bleak, bureaucratic crimes
he was way ahead of his times —
who knew we’d soon see people wantonly punished?
Czech Limerick
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Category Archives: Limerick
Estonian Limerick
There was a gardener from Estonia
who was faced with a terrible phobia.
When she heard men hunting,
she’d cry, “Russians are coming,
and they’ll trample all our Begonias!”
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Chinese Limerick
There was an old man from China
who thought he suffered from angina,
but greasy eggrolls
and MSG by the bowl
gave heartburn to that old man of China.
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Finnish Limerick
There was a hardy man from Finland
who wanted to move further inland,
but sallying forth
meant moving more north,
and he feared he’d wrap into Japan.
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Canadian Limerick
There was an old lady from Canada
who was a hockey aficionada.
She couldn’t still skate,
but always shot straight —
firing in place like the Spanish Armada.
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Cambodian Limerick
There was an old man from Cambodia
who suffered from four types of phobia:
scared of poles and of pots,
open holes, and gun shots.
Who could blame that scared man of Cambodia?
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Botswanan Limerick
There was a safari guide in Botswana
who was quizzed on the species of fauna.
“I don’t mean to be rude,
but there’s Huge, Fast, and Food —
so, just three types of beast in Botswana.”
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Belizean Limerick
In greeting an old woman of Belize
a tourist praised, “You speak English with ease.”
“I know it, you fool;
they teach it in school!”
English is the state language of Belize.
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Five [More] City Limericks
There was a worker from Detroit
who — in his job — was quite adroit.
They said he had powers —
a thousand nuts an hour,
but it’s not like he could enjoy’t.
There was an old woman of Singapore
who was fit as a fiddle but quite poor.
Her legs, they were stout
from lugging about
fixings to sell chicken-rice door-to-door.
There was a businessman from Osaka
who flew in (for safari) to Lusaka.
Walking the savanna
he slipped on a banana,
and was lost in an elephantine ca-ca.
There was a bad boy from Budapest
who wanted to behave his very best.
No more driving drunk —
a corpse in the trunk.
Being good was harder than he’d guessed.
There was a young woman from Cancun
who knew all the phases of the moon.
She worked a nightclub,
slinging drinks and grub —
because the mid-day sun made her swoon.
First installment:
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Five City Limericks
There was a buxom lass of London
who was perpetually undone —
her plotting, it flopped —
her buttons, they popped.
She was undone in more ways than one.
There once was a man from New York
who would only eat using a fork.
You’d think soup his ruin,
but ’twasn’t his undoin’ —
he starved over a giant slab of pork.
There was a young gal from Tokyo
who used her umbrella in the snow.
‘Twas structurally sound,
and held eighty pounds.
huge biceps had that buff girl of Tokyo.
There was a young man of New Delhi
who thought himself the new Machiavelli.
He said, “Make them fear,
or you’ll see them sneer!”
…’twere not for his knees made of jelly.
There was a salesman from Nairobi
whose mind trick was like Ben Kenobi’s —
or so he did think,
but — despite psychic link —
he couldn’t sell even one Flowbee.
Tiger Riding for Beginners 