DAILY PHOTO: Strangler Fig

Taken in October of 2012 at Angkor.

Taken in October of 2012 at Angkor.

At Angkor, trees swallow temples, both breaking them up and holding them together, giving us a glimpse of the world after us.

Two Things To Keep On You In India

20140316_160803If you though I was going to say “Passport and FRRO Registration”– WRONG! First of all, that would make the most boring blog post ever–not a distinction for which I have aimed (but I wouldn’t turn down the award for it, if it comes with a cash prize.) Second, I’d keep those items some place safe–like a hollowed out Ganesh (but that’s not where I keep mine, so don’t get any ideas.)

1.) Tiny pictures of yourself: After about the ninth time I went someplace random and was matter-of-factly asked for a “passport size” print or a “stamp-size” print, I asked whether it was common for Indians to carry a bunch of photos of themselves around on their person–because there seemed to be such a presumption that I would have a stack of selfies on hand at any random moment.  The answer was “Yes, yes we do keep photos on hand.” Not only is it common to carry a small pack of passport pics–some keep a stock in various sizes. Long story-short, a lot of places will want a photo besides government offices–more than you might expect.

Americans just take a billion pictures of themselves and post them to Facebook, and would be self-conscious about the apparent narcissism of carrying around physical pictures of oneself. The only Americans who carry physical pictures of anybody are grandmothers who haven’t figured out how to use their phones (admittedly, a large but shrinking demographic) and they carry pics of munchkins–not themselves.

2.) Change: That’s “change” as in coins and small bills–I’m not getting abstract on you. India has a crisis of change–still not being abstract. I’m not just talking about the auto-rickshaw driver who negotiates a fare that is merely twice the metered rate, and then when you get to your destination they inform you that they have no change for a 100 rupee note (and because only someone who values “the principal of the matter”  at more than 30 cents will argue, you end up paying too much.) I’ve gotten the evil eye at such places as restaurants, stores, and even the Metro counter (who should have coins in stock if not the metro counter?) In India, there isn’t a strong expectation that the business will be the one who makes change in a commercial transation–like it is in …well, every other place in the world that I’ve visited.

I’m not sure if this change crisis is created by an inability of the Central Bank to calculate how much small currency to release into the economy, or whether the vast number of beggars are bogarting all the coin.

At any rate, if you are a nice guy and always make change for every business you deal with, you will inevitably end up in a situation in which you desperately need a pay toilet and the smallest money you have on you is a 1000 rupee note.  As paying 1000 rupee to visit the most disgusting place on Earth (a third-world public toilet) is demoralizing, I suggest you horde change like everybody else.

DAILY PHOTO: Fruity Flower Sculptures

Taken January 26, 2014 at Lal Bagh Gardens

Taken January 26, 2014 at Lal Bagh Gardens.

So, I spent an hour Googling what the correct term was for a “sculpture” made out of flower blossoms. I’m sure there’s some lingo used amongst the Flower & Garden Show crowd (but you must need to know the secret handshake.)

However, after viewing the websites for many flower shows around the world from Philadelphia to Hong Kong, all I was able to learn is that–whatever they are–these examples from the Bangalore Republic Day 2014 Flower Show… well, they aren’t good. I hesitate to say this because someone may come back and say, “You monster, those [whatever they are] were constructed by children with Down Syndrome.”

If that is the case, I  stand corrected and must say that those are the finest examples of [whatever they are] that I have ever seen made by children with Down Syndrome.  I may also be showing my ignorance of Down Syndrome because perhaps children with Down Syndrome do ikebana like Rain Man counted match sticks–which is to say freakishly well.

The [whatever they are]  just seem a little misshapen compared to those from, for example, the Hong Kong Flower Show.  If the Hong Kong arrangements are the X-Box 360 version, these are clearly the mid-1980s Atari Pong version–not that there is anything wrong with that.

DAILY PHOTO: Shivajinagar Backstreets

20140316_161726Taken in the area of Russell Market on Sunday March 16, 2014.

DAILY PHOTO: Bangalore Beef Market

Taken on March 16, 2014 in Bangalore.

Taken on March 16, 2014 in Bangalore.

Taken on March 16, 2014 in Bangalore.

Taken on March 16, 2014 in Bangalore.

You may be curious about whether one can get a steak or a burger in the land in which McDonald’s restaurants substitutes [chicken] Maharaja Macs for the iconic beef Big Mac. Indeed one can, and it’s not that hard to find, nor that expensive–though it does often involve going a little out of one’s way. A typical supermarket–if they sell meat–sells only chicken and mutton (the two globally non-offending meats–except among the vegetarian/vegan crowd.)

As one might expect, the beef trade is dominated by Muslim merchants.

I couldn’t recommend this particular place. (I have a robust digestive system by Western standards, but eating a steak acquired here would probably kill me instantly.) While you could probably get an animal butchered right there–insuring the ultimate freshness–I suspect these are mostly the garbage-eating cows seen around the city. The fact that there is a pet store attached to the beef market and that carrion eaters are constantly circling overhead is enough for me to shop elsewhere.

The Beef Market is located quite near the Russell Martket, near Commercial Street.

 

DAILY PHOTO: The Colors of Holi

Taken in October of 2013 in KR (City) Market in Bangalore.

Taken in October of 2013 in KR (City) Market in Bangalore.

As I skipped posting Daily Photos over the weekend, I’m posting two today–in honor of a Western and an Indian holiday respectively.  Holi is the festival of colors, and today one can see plenty of people with faces and clothing powdered in vivid colors. In the markets one sees these conical piles of color defying gravity in a most stubborn fashion. FYI- Today isn’t the day to wear your finest, pristine white dress shirt.

DAILY PHOTO: Saint Patrick’s Church in Bangalore

20140313_064206This is Saint Patrick’s Church in Bangalore in honor of St. Paddy’s Day.

 

DAILY PHOTO: Coracle Captain

Taken in November of 2013 at Hampi

Taken in November of 2013 at Hampi.

This 89 pound man rowed tourists (usually weighing much more than 89 pounds a piece–and sometimes including five or six per group) upstream, and then float them back downstream.  He was definitely putting his back into it.

First World Problems Are So Adorable

 

How deep is it? No one knows.

How deep is it? No one knows.

In the interest of enhancing global understanding and camaraderie, I’ve built a translator of common first world (FW) problems–putting them in terms of their Rest of the World (RoW) equivalents.

FW: This food needs salt.
RoW: This food needs food.

FW: My health insurance premiums went up $20 per month.
RoW: My right foot, which recently turned from purple to black, just fell off.

FW: My car is in the shop again.
RoW: My right foot, which recently turned from purple to black, just fell off.

FW: It’s raining again today.
RoW: My house was washed off its foundations and is currently floating down the Brahmaputra River.

FW: Looks like those devils from the other party got a majority in the legislature.
RoW: This coup was particularly bloody.

FW: Squirrels are getting into my bird feeder.
RoW: A tiger ate my family.

FW: A traffic jam made me late for Pilates class.
RoW: While limping through the Kyber Pass to get antibiotics for my right stump, I was socked in by an unanticipated blizzard.

FW: My GPS says this road cuts under the interstate, but now I’ve got to go around.
RoW: What’s GPS?

DAILY PHOTO: Peeking BBMP Building

Taken on March 12, 2014 in Bangalore

Taken on March 12, 2014 in Bangalore.

Taken from across Mysore Road near the front of Badami House (the Karnataka State Tourism office.)