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POEM: The Mystifying Sex Life of Scootley-Wootleys

Scootley-Wootleys are not of this world.

They don’t come in 2 types–a boy and a girl.

There are 16 sexes, 64 ways to mate,

and 3,000 rules on who and whom may date.

Pop-too can’t date Wah-toh, and Wah-toh can’t date Plarks,

but Wah-toh can take Pop-too for Sunday in the park.

Blang-doos and Moracks can only date each other.

Unless a Plark and a Blang-doo have a common grandmother.

The Siskay and the For-noo can only date but once.

But that’s plenty enough, cause it takes the whole of 4 months.

Planning an orgy necessitates a complex algorithm,

plus: blocks, straps, and a composite pulley system.

Just keeping track of it all was making me witless,

til I struck on a policy of minding my own business.


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