1.) Math was never my strong suit.

2.) I believe the transitive property is a conspiracy from the people who brought us the “moon-landing” and the “second law of thermodynamics.”

3.) I have a mild case of attention deficit disorder.

3.) I have a mild case of attention deficit disorder.

4.) Mom said, “If the people who use numeric lists jumped off a bridge, would you?”

5.) Vague David Letterman threat, “I didn’t get rich letting people steal my shit.” 

6.) Apparently, seven ate nine, making top 10 lists a mathematic impossibility.